A typical middle aged woman

164th

2012-02-12T14:18:00.005+08:00

How I wish. How stupid I am to think this has been long gone.

Just saying your name, nay, whispering silently in my heart, make me shed a tear.

I wiped it hastily away, and keep a straight face.

I should do this long time ago. I should learn how to let go.

--------------------------------AZ----------------------------------

How could I forgot. Where should I start? The beginning or the end?

--------------------------------------------------------------------

The very first day.
I haven't seen you before. Where have you been all this while? This is the first time I've set my eyes on you. What a beautiful sight. I was mesmerised. I was determined. I will do whatever it takes just to get to know you. I was unashamed. I was falling.

The place to be.

I became obsessed. I've changed all my bookwrapper to his favourite color. It was pink. I never know pink until you. I always went to the library but never this often. I know you went to that all-boys school and I was ecstatic. I have lots of friends over there, they will help me out. I saw you in the library once or twice in a day. Sometimes you were with your friends, at times they left you behind. I tried to fix a smile, but I'm too nervous and just let you passed by.

The stalker in me.

I've got your name from one of your friends, which happened to be my cousin. I tried to be subtle and asked the usual question.

Where he's from?

When did he move here?

And what was his name again?

I was relieved, as you lived just near to my place. In the same neighborhood. Sharing the same postal code. How significant the similarity even in the smallest dosage. I've waited and I've made my move.

The letter that change it all.

Yes, I wrote you a letter. I wrote you a note actually. I can't really remember the exact words, but I plead to be your friend. Maybe in the note you can't really feel the nervousness of my heart or the loud flapping noise of those thousand butterflies in my stomach. I've offered you a simple friendship. I've remembered saying things like if you rejected this, I won't bug you anymore. I told you my name, and I want to be your friend.

And you said yes..

.....

....

...

First time we talk.

Oh how time flies. I can't remembered the first time we actually talk to each other. It's blurry cause I can't think straight anymore. Oh your eyes, it's brown almost hazel, and I was lost, many times in those big bright eyes. Often after that, we were seen together. We took the same bus home, we sat at the same table under the trees or you just walked pass by and still managed to send me some smiles. It makes me feel like a million bucks. You simply made my day.

The school holidays.

You asked me out, not on a date, but to jog. Being fat little me, I obliged. Ended up, you just walk besides me, because running is not really my thing. I was ashtmatic, and you were sympathetic. The jogging thing, stayed for a week. I woke up early, everyday without fail, walk to your house around 5.30 am and stay on top of that hill with you until 10 am. Our hill. We talked a lot. About our past. And future. Our likes and dislikes. Our hobby and families. Everything under the skies.

Did you know, all that advise you've given, really make 'me' today?

More letters.

At that time, with no hand phones or email, we mostly communicated via letters. There were plenty of letters between us. Sometimes only a piece, mostly there are two or three. There's so much to tell! I don't feel right to sit with him and chat the whole time in front of public. It just don't feel right. They are a few of friends who we trusted to be the mail bearer or yeah, just slipped in the books. Oh gosh, how naive and how sweet those gestures are. Really. We were being honest, but we don't want people to misjudge us. Heck, I even showed them to my mom sometimes. But not the last letter..

The first fight.

There was a girl near your house. Pretty, with a long plait. She was everything I'm not. You want to get to know her. I was so green with envy. He kept on bringing 'her' into each and every conversation afterwards. Being a friend, I introduced them. There's no bigger regret than this. He left me for a pretty ones..

And he tore me to pieces with the last letter..

The last letter.

I told him how I felt about him. He replied and started to avoid me. He said I misuse his trust and broke the friendship that we had. At that time, I thought I can take back what I've said in the letter but it is no use. He said it will be better if we stop seeing each other as he don't want to be giving me false hope now that he knows I have feeling for him. He said he don't want to disappoint me, or make me cry. He said he loves the pretty girl with the long plait.

I feel like dying.

I rather die than being ignored.

We haven't talk, at all after the last letter. I was invisible. He showed no recognition. As if I never existed. Oh, how I longed to hear his voice. But he just being true to his word. Unfortunately, with his good score in the SRP'93, he was accepted at my school. I was beyond reason, I felt like I've flown to the moon and back. And hey, I thought this was my second chance, to reignite the lost friendship. I just want to be back in his good book again. Fat chance for a fat people. He totally ignored me. I called up his name, I said hi to him, I did many other stupid things, yet, he did not see me. I'm just part of the wall or half of a tree. I becoming more desperate and did more stupid stunts. I gave up at certain points, I even dated one of his friend just to get over him. Nothing works. I went to all his debate, sit at the last row, cheered for his winning, cried when they lost. I bought the picture of him and my cousin singing a duet as I wasn't able to stomach 'him' anymore. I was missing him terrible. He was so near.. yet he was miles away.

Until..

The year he left me completely.

There's a tradition back then, when the seniors left school and went to college, they will write in our autograph book. I had plenty of those books. Since the primary, up to the high school. I'm quite well known so, yeah. Since he was in the same class as my cousin, I gave my cousin that book and get him to pass around to all his colleague. At the back page of the book, I saw the same hand writing that I've missed for months. I even dug up his old letters just to compare the handwriting. It was his. Again, advising me to take care, and study to achieve my dreams. He tried to be anonymous, but I'm not a fool. Deep down, I know he still care. But I think he was being nice not to give me false hope. With that final notice, he left me. Again. For good. I have not seen him anymore.

At the age of thirty three, I finally understand.

When I was thirteen.

163rd

2012-02-12T13:55:00.004+08:00

Now at Linggi, last night was bbq nite, not bad affair. At the moment, Mr Hubadab is watching 'Date Movie'. Nyampah.

It's not me! Your wife is not a film star! Arrrgghhhh!!

I took a nap just now, and had a weird dream, which make me asked myself:

'What do you remembered most while at school?'

1. Morning assembly.

I lurvvvve the school song! I love being in that part of the country where the Negeri's song was fast tempo. It always left me termengah2 at the end of the song - always, without fail.

2. The Hari Guru thingy.

Oh aye, I participated once in a while. But the one I remembered the most was the year I took part in the dikir barat session. If not mistaken, we've included 'Mas Mona' of Jeffrydin jingles (boleh ke panggey jingles? haha!) and a few hand gesture which at that time I thought was pretty awesome. It was this year, we lost Syahid. He died from a bus accident. He was in the dikir barat too. Alfatihah dear Syahid.

3. End of year event.

I think after the end of year of my 5th year in the high school, we did organise some kinda Language Week or something like that. We had a few people for poetry recitation, debate, and more poetry and if not mistaken, the original MC for the event gone MIA. So I've volunteered to become and MC and heck, I don't even know what were I'm doing half of it. LOL.

4. Softball seasons.

I don't really play it, but heck, I sure know how to wing the bat. I can't be pretty sure why but during my 3rd year of my high school I got along with few girls in my class and the next door class, and I was somehow included in this gang. I still keep in touch with one of the them after so many year, true friend you just can't replaced or let go easily.

5. The after SPM party.

OMG, how could I forgot? My first car wrecked accident!

6. The first school event.

Believe me, I still remembered that girl on stage, singing her heart out to the tune of Dayangku Intan. I was 7.

7. Boys boys boys.

Yes, I have plenty. But the one etched in my mind, stayed in my heart and I (still) unable to let go is him. Capital H.I.M. He taught me well. He taught me friends could never be lovers. He taught me how ignorance can eventually be the most sharp object and could left us crying in the dark. He taught me to be a stalker, he taught me to be someone. I wish I could thank him for shaping my life, but hey, tak semua yang kita hajatkan akan tercapai. I think I want to blog about him. Special tribute. Siap loe. Hahahahaha!

O sweet memories, I'm trying hard to move on from this place.

Let me go and I shall be free.

Once in a while, and I take a step back.

Just to reminisce, not to weep.

It was good before. It was still good now.

Good feeling is when I think of you, o sweet memories.

162nd

2012-02-06T13:51:00.015+08:00

Hari kedua @ 29 January 2012 - PD Grand Lexis ngeh ngeh!

Muka tak mandi, caya tak?

Bro ni hebat - mandi sampai sejam..

Makan pun sopan jew, berjuruh la org kg kabor.

Nak taw lepas makan we all buat? Cer teka..

Lepas makan, mari kita memanah!

Cer teka sape menang? Teka lah! Teka lah!

Menyesal betul tak amek gambo masa memanah, lau tak leh bragging setahun.

Sapa kalah, kena paksa posing. Kahkahkah!

Professional ork? Tgh catwalk neh he he!

Ah ah terujernya sayer amek gambar diyer!!

All in all - this was a successful trip. See ya in 3 years!

161st

2012-02-06T11:42:00.009+08:00

Iklan kejap.. he he

I've entered a blogging contest somewhere in November 2011 - with Nuffnang.

Guess what? I'm in the top 50!

Hnsh! hnsh! I've collected my pressie already.

Nampak abg kacak berbaju merah lam mirror? Berkeliling dia mencari tempat. Kecian..

(Padahal tempat tu bangunan kaler cekelat dpn tu bro! Kahkahkah!)

Tgn sape yg bagak tgh drive ini? T_T

Buckle up untuk keselamatan diri.. heeee

Yea, saya agak besar.

Dan sedap dipeluk. Weeeee!

160th

2012-01-31T12:04:00.023+08:00

Lagi sebulan - it will be 3-effing-awesome-years in marriage.
Punyalah gelojoh kan, siap pi celebrate sebulan awal. What. A. Loser. But no!
Heck no! This is brilliant! We have been planning, and post-poning, all the unbearable timing and heart-wrenching moment!

This is the only time we can go for this blardy trip I tell ya!

Hallo - enough drama will ya?

Hari pertama @ 28 January 2012 - PD Grand Lexis
We started our long anticipated journey around noon, after I got back from werk. The weather, a bit gloomy, so as my other half. I wonder why.

I was this close *between the thumb and the forefinger clasp together* to get into my HULK mode, but what the heck, I just snore all the way. Arghhh!!

Sesampainya kami di sana..

Dan wa pun cair..

Aik? Besor ni je lubang air? Cemana nak mandi?

Eh?

Ada yang besau la! Terus wa jadi bikini babe! Siyes! jakun gile kowt!
(Bukan gambar sebenar)

Ape tgk Astro ni? Tak adventure sungguh la beliau

Study menu, besok ada test. Miahahahaha!

Still bermuka ketat. Hmm.

But, ada ku kesah? Cam-whoring peringkat tertinggi, wachaa!

We went for a quick ping-pong game (really, you have not misread) before leaving for a buffet dinner (this is not on the house ppl, I've forked up for this T_T) but hey, it was worth every bite.

And what a good night sleep I had afterwards.

159th

2012-01-30T22:04:00.002+08:00

I've been reading alot lately. No, not books. Blogs.

And I've notice a few spoiler (can I say it was a spoiler if it spoil my mood?) and here are the list I've conjured up, ewah.

1. Swear words in English.
The word eff and dic should not be in the same sentence unless it is to be use as 'Get the eff outta here, you lousy dic.' I don't get it. Maybe they haven't come across that words like 15 years ago - and now they were like using it massively and excessively. You, yes you, should bear in mind that there are minors lurking around reading your blog. No matter how nasty you think you are, I'm pretty sure you parent did teach you well manners.

2. Swear words in Malay.
Darn, it is still uncool. What makes you think that you're super cool each time you drop the 'Celaka', 'babi' and 'anakharam' bomb in the middle of an innocent sentence? Hell, I'm no angel either, but I believe in an old superstitious. Kalau dok sebut babi babi ja manjang, later kuaq babi sekor2 dari mulut hang. Mau ka? (Awat ckp utagha ni?)

3. Young ho
These bloggers they have started around the same time as I was (but hmm, this is not even my first blog) - or maybe they've started alot earlier - but I bet my bottom dollar they are (mostly) younger than me. And they are (some) anti-government and self-proclaimed as a 'punkster'. I wonder if the saying 'Youth now got no respect for elders' are proven to be true. Opps, sorry, it is not nice to call someone 'ho' either.

4. Slang pondan
All these noks and nyah and god-knows-what make me sick. Like seriously, you gotta be transgender to be cool? If not, then why the heck are you guys mimicking them? Bukan patut baling selipar ka kat orang2 gini? Okay, itu terlalu harsh. Or just berpeluk tubuh and bilang 'Semoga Allah memberi mereka nur dan hidayah'. Gittew?

5. Not all - I repeat - not all are dead beat. Some are worth reading. I rather read and laugh then read and later say euuuwwwww..

And dear, please stop masturbating with your words, get a guy and enjoy a real orgasm.
Cheers.

158th

2012-01-30T21:50:00.002+08:00

Malam ni terasa sangat dewasa. Do you wanna know why the maturity spasm hit me tonite?

1. I took time to clean up the kitchen for at least 30mins when normally, I would just switch off myself (and not the light) and went straight to bed.

2. I bent over and collected those scattered socks (those not belongs to me however) so I put it back where it was but in a neat stack. Heh.

3. I entered this into the blog, obviously.

Oh well, I dun think this entry is going anywhere.

Mr Huba Huba is out with some MALE friend - and I'm being an adult, I MUST trust him.

157th

2012-01-25T13:48:00.010+08:00

Cuti @ Linggi. Sampai2 je dah terkinja2 terlompat2 nak capai rambutan gading. Yang tinggal belen belah2 atas je, rezeki kera lain plak. Heee.

Tanpa berlengah lagi, beliau pantas menuju ke tempat yg di igau2kan selama 3 minggu keterbelakang (lantak ah ada ke takde perkataan ni).

Mula2 dok sini..

Pastu kesot sket..

Dah mula dah muka tak puas ati dia tu kan..

Ya, tak nampak muka tapi body gesture dia jerit2 ketensionan beliau.

Yang pompuan ni sebok laa amek gambar tah apa2 kan? kan? Duh.

Terpicit2 umpan kot. Malas nak jenguk bab da kene marah.

Rasa cam nak amek gambo serangga, tetiba daun tu plak interprem. Lawa plak tu. Guna kamera cikai jek pun.

Simetri la kunun.. huhu

Alih2 tgk dia dah berport baru..

Dan hasilnya..

Close-up muka hero, Si Baung Ekor Merah.

Bukan fruitful ni, fishful. Alhamdulillah.

156th

2012-01-17T21:12:00.003+08:00

I'm bored, obviously.

At this precise moment, the Boss is lounging in front of the telly watching Mindfreak on nt*7, which is sux, cause it's a re-run.

I've seen this eps before.

What would happened if tetiba he was performing all those stupid acts..

Imagine this la ey, dia tgh baring atas paku2 tajam tu, with heavy bricks on his chest..

Wa dok sebelah dia recite al-Kursi.

Agak2 cemana? Kan?

155th

2012-01-11T22:03:00.006+08:00

Things that I have not yet tried in my life, heh.

1. Eat oyster

Natam ni payoh nar nok carik ah!

2. Ride a roller coaster

Wa takde insurance dan overweight, uhuks!

3. Bungee jumping, absailing, flying fox dan segala jadah perkara untuk mengejar adrenalin haram wa tak berani

Badan jer besar, hati cam kuman = penakut

4. Clubbing

Takut kang tgh juget2 tetiba termati plak kan. How?

Okay cukup, nak tidur, besok kerja.

Hari esok yg hebat bermula dgn tidur yang cukup pada malam sebelumnya.

154th

2012-01-11T20:54:00.012+08:00

Things that can unite us and/or break us (definitely from my point of view):

1. Politics

Mesti mau abg KJ kan?

2. Football

3. Concert

Haruslah Justin Bieber! Woot woot!

4. Year-end sale

5. Clubbing

Dan paling utama: PILGRIMAGE

Buatlah pilihan yang bijak!

153rd

2012-01-03T09:37:00.002+08:00

Tak payah pergi Aussie untuk langit sebegini - Langit Allah sama saja di mana2.

Ape nih?

Oh.. langit.. Subhanallah..

152nd

2011-12-31T11:11:00.008+08:00

I also want to bitch about 2011! Ngeh ngeh!

1. I dun really remember in details what had happened the whole 2011. Haha!

2. I lost my job at the old Aussie company because of redundancy position or whatnot, which is crap. The darkest hours ever.

3. I got a job at the new US company, which is great, I've tumbled and fall, I've picked my self off and see the Grand Jury. Hee hee hee.

4. I lost Makde Normah while she's fighting her diabetes and kidney failure. I did not get the chance to visit her. Al-fatihah.

5. I lost Makngah Cacat also.. yes, we all love her, but Allah love her MOST. Al-fatihah.

6. Welcome Faiqah comeyyy to the world!

7. Buat kerja gila pergi Melaka on Friday nite - when I'm supposed to work on Saturday at 1300 - and I managed - even if I was wearing pyjamas to work (no one notice).

8. Abah bersara, and whole family pindah balik Raub. Good decision.

9. Okay dah tak ingat. Tak buat resolution dah, so tiada kekecewaan!

151st

2011-12-29T08:20:00.005+08:00

Random at Raub yang bertemakan 'Cikem Wings'.

Mari anak2 semua makan cikem wings

All together now!

Bebi nak jugek cikem wings!!

Cikem wings ini anugerah Allah untuk sekalian umat.

+ Abah, peluh menitik tu lam kuali.

- Takpe, takyah masuk garam lebih kekgi.

Pergh penat giler, macam berlari marathon!

Hee Makngoh ni, nak makan pon payah..

Ahhh pedulikan dia.. ngaaaaap!

150th

2011-12-26T09:06:00.006+08:00

I'm at Raub now. Family time!

Now musim durian, rambutan, manggis dan langsat. Heh. Makan berpada2 la, kang semput plak.

Abah tgh proses tempoyak. Maklum je la rumah bau cemana. Huu huu.

Ahad tu pi Taman Bandar, ada program mengacau bubur asyurra. Bubur hitam yang ada rempah2, kekacang, dedaging dan kesedapan. Dan juga sessi bermain. Penat mengejar.. adeih.

Budak berdua ni, Faiqah dgn Fariz dok di kampung sampai mak derang amek. Gebu2 je. Fariz ni takleh di tegur, kalau tegur terus dia berguling menangis. Alor alor.

Farah pun ada, Yaya pun ada.

Tapi today dah nak balik KL. Till next time!

149th

2011-12-17T21:52:00.008+08:00

Why I love Malacca so damn much.

Bluish Blue

Give him a fish rod, and he'll fish for life.

Umpan lokan. Hee hee.

Dapat ikan la plak.. Her her.

The whore lurves to cam. Ada?

148th

2011-12-17T16:40:00.001+08:00

I got no thumb.

So I can't show you thumb's up.

But I still got my middle finger.

And it can stay up (?)

Heee...

147th

2011-12-02T22:30:00.005+08:00

And it is December.

I always love this time of the year. It is always cool and rainy.

Don't ask me why I unfriend you. You should know better and you don't really need me in your friend list. I am invisible after all.

I still like watching cartoon and imitating them.

Yes, I am changing the way I blog, we need to blog using all mega words so people reading this might think, WOW, DAMN, she's quirky yet intelligent.

As if?

I am still fat, and living large, literally.

I am, however, trying my best to stay positive.

So please, don't come near me with all your whine and swine, I might spark (?)

Enough hostility.

-Break-

2011-07-11T08:53:00.001+08:00

Breaking the habit, please support. Cheers.

Click here.

142nd

2011-06-06T09:38:00.002+08:00

Teding. It's obvious isn't it? Heee.

She was tiny - from the very beginning. She was skinny, the only skinny person in the family. All were bulks and she was the branch. So being the smallest, does that make you the weakest? Nope, she's a champion alright - up til now.

Hmm, let me see. Now much I can remember about her, because the gap now is 5,6 years? At that time, I was like 7? Yeah, now I remembered, our grandfather passed on just after she was born. That is normal - it was never a jinx or something like that. Qada' dan qadar kan?

Teding being the smallest - she never had any ISSUE in buying clothes or she even bother to try them, ALL of the time her clothes FITS! Grrr! I jeles!

She was a knockout, she's pretty in her own way, she got married before me T_T but that was compensate by a beautiful gold bracelet, which I sold, 2 years ago. Apparently, I did not stop growing. Haishh.

Teding, now, much more closer to me that the rest. She is now struggling with what life got to offer. And me as a much more bigger sister, feel oblige to assist her - in any way possible. It feels like a duty to protect her from the ugliest creature of the universe.

Teding got 2 lovely kids - Farah and Balqis. I'll go into further details later.

141st

2011-06-06T08:29:00.008+08:00

Yapat is my third sibling - 4 years apart from me. Apart yapat. Hahahahaha!

And here I thot I was the youngest child T_T

We called him Yapat to honour our late Uncle, as they looked alike.

Moving along now - as I was distracted by the McD Sundae that just arrived at my door.

What are the things that I remembered the most about Yapat while growing up?

Gila banyak! And all are tak senonoh ones! Hahahahahaha!

Yapat went to the local kindergarten under K*MAS - the first in our family as my sister and I was home-tutoring.

My friend's aunty was the teacher at this school. Most of the teachers here are reporting to my dad so I don't recall any denda or punishment been given to my brothers and sisters (all 5 of them went to kindy T_T).

But Yapat was a happy and enthusiastic child - when it comes to play.

He was so playful in their classroom, I heard that Ms Aya finally did put him in a detention - a time out in the kitchen. Alone. What Ms Aya did not know is that Yapat is a kid who knows how to entertain himself even without audience. What he did was legend - he went and ate all the others children lunch.

But Ms Aya was determined to show Yapat how to behave, she then re-sentence him for another time out - this time in the bathroom. Boy, Yapat was having field day. He was playing with water, and got soaking wet. Ms Aya almost collapsed with laughter and she obviously stopped to punish my brother. She started to tolerate him, but once she confessed to me - none of the child under her care has given her much to memorise about. Yapat, was after all, a good kid - who loves foods and playing with water. Hahahahaha!

There's also one incident that related to Pakcik Jabar and his van. Pakcik Jabar is our neighbor, and Yapat is one of these student he picked up from school. I'm not going into details with this one incident, or I will be having fits.

He was one of those student that really don't attract or get into trouble at school. He's a bit dim (I always thought he was) not until he got The Best Student Award in Economics during his STPM. Whooaa. My brother y'all. He got IT after all. Alhamdulillah!

He's a momma's boy. Hahahahahahaha! The real momma's boy! And this is a COMPLIMENT! Nowadays, not many treasured their mom as much. I'm so proud of Yapat because of this. He really cares for our mother.

Yapat is a teacher now, he got married to lovely Shariah, we all (Me, Hubby, Yapat, Sherry) shared a wedding dais. That is my way of telling him that I really appreciate what he did to our mom and how to tell them both how happy I was for them.

Ya, kami memang comel. Dulu.

140th - I Like Nippon Paint Because

2011-05-21T13:08:00.018+08:00

I believe in their blobbies and their powers! Hic!

Being eccentric me, I am always into pink, peach and apple green. But sadly, I can't do the same to the wall of my apartment. Boo hoo!

I was 25 when I first moved in, it was ecstatic. I mean, this is my own space. I can go crazy with the interior. Well not really. Being single at the time, it took toll on my time and budget. I have so much to do, needs and plan need to be executed, then I have decided to postpone on changing the wall coat. I always telling myself - Yeah, we'll do this next month, and then the next month, then surprisingly months turns into years.

Now it has been almost 6 years since that day. It is still white, not that bright white that it used to be but beginning to fade.

See? B-O-R-E-D.

It is kind of despressing, isn't it? It is also awful to look at sometime, however, it is always motivating in way that I constantly thinking about getting my hands on few bucket of Nippon Paint and start splashing like crazy.

Oohh I just love that idea! There are like 3 different walls that make up the living room. How I wish that I can get them all on different colors! Those on the window panel in moss green (as of the curtain now) and the one behind the tv will be peachy. Oh and can I have pink on the ceiling? I can just imagine myself grinning from ear to ear upon stepping into the room. What marvel it would be, I don't really know what my parent (and husband) might say but hey, this is ME.

The living room is the biggest room among the others, and the one that I have spent most of my time. I have watched my favourite toons here, falling in love with cute actors in the movie and crying myself a river when watching Nur Kasih. Yes, typical stuff for a woman and when I was down facing break-ups and healing my heart, how I wish that these walls can do more than glare and sympathised. I sometimes hope that these wall can help me to cheer me up by its dashing colors.

Colors do effect people, but as of now, since I can't get them on my wall, at least I'm always pink on the inside. That is a hell of a motivation.

See the wall?

I think this was taken after a massive earthquake! Gosh!

Nippon Paint ! Make my wish come true!

.....

....

...

..

.

139th

2011-05-18T20:47:00.006+08:00

Nak citer pasal Kaklong, Yapat dan Teding. Hehe!

Kita beza umur setahun je ngan Kaklong kita. Dalam ramai2, dia sorang jek takde gelaran cam orang asli. Uhuks. She was (and still is!) a brilliant student. Pelajar contoh, I think she got her name up in her old high school hall of fame, or something. She was an A star student, all the way through college.

When we were young, we used to share the room. SHe kept to herself most of the time. I think when she went to MR*M T**ping she was a bit open, she was thin then. The one most memorable story she told me was when she was meeting with one of the senior in the study room. Ala ala cinta monyet kut, but she really like him back then. Alas, it did not work out for her.

She was a bit plump in the primary school, and then she was doing this crash diet thing, she was so thin. She got a lot of admirers at that time. She also was one of the pioneer to the social media (chat room) that I've mentioned before but she was always below the radar. I can say that she's not as social as me (perasan!) but she was one of those typical book worm. She wore glasses, not much of a talker, and total opposite of me. I think.

She used to listen to Casey Cassem on some old radio station I can't recall. She used to love the Carpenter and the local group Damasutra, cook porridge and hug the computer.

One incident I recalled now I'm writing this, once she borrowed one of our mutual friend's car, As*i and he taught her how to drive. I remembered like watching the car was speeding suddenly and came to a stop. I think I never saw him looked so ever pale. As*i was her schoolmate, but he always came around in his dad's red car to look for me, asking me out on a ride while preaching me.

Hepp. This is about my sister, not about me. Stop being a bimbo!

Kaklong loves to sing. She used to join any kind of singing competition. She also used to read poetry in local Sayembara too, and she always came 2nd, I can't remember the name of that dude who always got the first spot.

Kaklong loves cat too.

I think she got married while I was in college, I did not make it to her wedding as I was in the middle of examination week. Too bad for me. The way she chosen her husband was sort of a legend. It was on her birthday, and she chosen the one who calls her first. That was Mansor, her driving instructor.

Now, she's into K-pop scene. She's fanatic about it. She still in love with cats. She's a teacher now. I think that suits her well.

Penatlah. Sambung lain. Heh.

138th

2011-05-15T13:52:00.005+08:00

Abg Sham masuk hospital last Friday, operation, something to do with his tulang belakang or heck, I don't know what it was but hopefully he'll get well soon. Today will be another visit to the PMC with Kak Yati. Heee.

Today, I would like to blog away about Family.

Looking back, my family quite a large one. It was 9 of us, parent and 7-sibling. They are Kaklong, Sintik, Yapat, Teding, Bujuk, Makbat and Tikus. Hahahahahahaha! Kelas kan nama?
Dah macam anak orang asli i tell you! Tapi, kami orang Malaysia! Hee.

(And sorry: I'm not going into details how we got these names! boo!)

Our house is a home. It was that small house in the old days, with only one bathroom cum toilet and 2 bedrooms of the same size. Our house don't even have a backdoor. It looks like a terrace house from the outside and mightily feel like a town house inside.

All the girls slept together. We had double decker, I got the top spot cause someone got a leakage problem in the middle of the night *rofl* And the rest, were on the floor with their lembek (tilam yang dah kehabisan span). We only had a tall, standing fan, and the idea of ceiling fan at the time was alien.

The boys (Yapat, Bujuk and Tikus) usually slept in front of the telly. Sometimes me myself will also crouch on the sofa, I remembered few occasion my dad carried me upstairs (time kurus dulu uols!). There is like a space underneath the stairs, usually that was where Bujuk slept.

We had cats. Lots of cats. Cats coming and going. Those that I remembered the most was Pussy, Berry, Putih and of course, Chemong. Plus my mom used to work in a nursery for abandon child (where their parent went to work, hee) so we also got Azim, Athirah, Amir Faeiz, the twins Nana and Aleen and I think the last one we had was Cik Dan's daughter (can't remember the name). The small house was always crowded and loud. I remembered my bestie at the time Jijoh, always said she can hear us laughing during Mr Beanie show and she said mine was the loudest. Adoi.

My dad or Abah worked in the government, as a supervisor I think. Honestly, I don't really know. Or maybe I know but just being mysterious about it (poyo). Sometimes my mom worked, but most of the time, she's just a housewife. I think by the time we were all grown up and went to high schoold, she started to feel lonely and started to work with the day care centre.

Abah works hard, even now. He was so passionate about his job. I can tell that with 7 children in tow and a wife to support, he was doing his best to accomodate all of our needs. He's damn responsible, he never failed to feed us, or clothe us all. He's a bit stingy some may say, but I think that is what he got, nothing more. He's cranky too, and garang ya Rabbi! But, that what makes him special. He is a poet, still writing when deemed possible. He loves books I can tell - he has purchased thousand and thousand of books, I think half of it was destroyed in that fire in the year 2001. He was frustrated and devastated - yet, he never showed it. People always asked me, as I was little, are you afraid of your dad? And I always answered, hell no, I respect him as a father. My dad is now 58 years old and will be retired this August.

My mom is the total opposite of my dad. Mak is the water that extinguish Abah's fire. Most of the time. Hahahahahaha! Mak is such a good nature, but sadly, lots have happened to her. Her mom, my nenek that is, died when she was small. Her dad, my atuk, died in 1984 if not mistaken. Her only brother, AyahDe, died when I was in first year of UITM, January 7, 1997. Each time, bad things happened to her, her relatives and elders will comfort her, and said, Sabar yea, banyakkan bersabar. Hence - her nickname is Sabar. Mak can cook. She is an excellent cook. My favourite will be Asam Tempoyak Ayam and Maggi Sup Old School (with sawi, fisbol and cikem). Trying to be honest here, when it comes to my Mak's cooking - semua aku bedal y'all! Nowadays, Mak can't really have what she loves eating before. Now, she got to watch her food. She got diabetes, high blood pressure and recently was detected with kidney problem. My Mak is 55 years old.

Did I say in the my past that I will not be doing any lengthy post again?

So this, my fellow readers, will be continued.

137th

2011-05-14T08:14:00.018+08:00

Adat berkawan.

Once I used to say: treat all your friends with the same standard. That was me before, when I was naive and yeah, ignorant. Now since I'm already grown up and mature (really?) I have a different view. Let us start to summarise by grouping them, as per below:

1. Childhood friends

1.1 From your school days
1.2 From your neighbourhood
1.3 From your bloodline (relatives i.e. cousins, nieces, nephews etcetra)

2. Long time no see friends

2.1 From your active involvement in social media (chat room)
2.2 From your college day
2.3 From the old office
2.4 Your ex's

3. New friends, for my case, it's from the Book.

Before I go any further, let me just say this - I LOVE ALL MY FRIENDS!

Hear my pledge:

I try not to take for granted, each and everyone of them.

I will try to be fair to all. There will be plenty of me for you guys.

I will be by your side through thick and thin.

I treasure you all - you guys are blessing in disguise.

My childhood friends.

These are those friends that I've treasured the most. They were with me since I was having baby fats (still having them) and there were the ones that came to my rescue when I was having my first battle of period pain and first heartache.

There are simply no words to describe how I am thankful to have found you guys.

They know my first and last name (it's quite a mouthful) and they know my family nickname (that can be quite annoying sometimes).

Simply put it this way, they are my past, they have helped to shape me today, they are one of many pillars that support me. And they have done that with their heart. I never asked them to, but I think they love me. I bet when it's time for me to die, these lot will shed their tears and recite Al-Fatihah for me. I'm so sure of that. Terharu lak rasa.

My long time no see friends.

Hi there. How are you? You've put on weight. (Paused)

Hey, you look gorgeous! Are you married? Got any kids? (Paused)

Kak, dah lama aku tak kol ko. Ko sehat? Ko dah makan? Gas umah ko banyak lagi ke? (Gelak cam orang gila)

Babe, dah lama tak jumpa ahh, ko masak la bubur kacang, nanti aku datang. (Giggles)

Oi! Dah lama tak nampak dikau kan? Jiran bodo ko tu dah arwah ke belum? (Gelak cam orang hilang punca)

See? Nampak tak? It's kinda obvious isn't it?

If you are good friends, even if you haven't seen each other in a while, you can always go back to the moment you have said 'BYE' and just continue the conversation.

Personally I think that is a well known etiquette. I know some of us did not fancy it much (argh! not the college-time stories again!) but that is how you do it. You don't have to be excessive of it, but it sure help to rekindle the relationship.

Sure I love some of you, but then again, some of you are replaceable.

And to my new friends, thank you for showing your interest. It is far too early to hold court so I will reserve my judgement. Selamat berkawan, heee.

Finally, I like to bitch about the dark side of friendship.

After the lengthy post, after all the sweats and tears, I would like to advise you guys to avoid these kind of friends - under the label 'Toxic Friends'.

1. Friends that after a few phone calls and sms - start asking us for money. WTF?

2. Friends that make promises after promises to pay your monies but it is just fake assurance. Say what?

3. Friends that feed on your misery, who only interested in you if you were having problem in paradise or other bad experience. They don't want to share you joy, just grief. OMG OMG OMG!

4. Slimy friends that want you to be more that friends. I'm in a relationship goddamnit!

5. Friends that on drugs, drink this and , went to here and they hold the same faith and religion like you. Urgh.

6. Friends that talk shit. Everyday. Euwwww!!

I think I've said enough. Stay safe everyone!
(Garrr! I have to proof read this twice! No more lengthy post from me - No siree!!)

136th

2011-05-12T21:09:00.000+08:00

Cerita semasa - Hari menyimbah asid sedunia, sebab dan konsekuen.

It's already in the news - suspects are likely MALE! Shame shame. They are hooligans, evil rider from hell, terrorising those secluded streets of KL. Police believes that most victims are WOMEN and CHILDREN!

Without further ado, here are my own list of how to avoid and to deal with such tragic incident. I know it's not much, but there goes my public service announcement.

What you can do:
1. Be alert of your surroundings.

2. Avoid using handphone while walking on the streets.

3. Beware of strangers. Try to keep a mental image of people you bump into like dirty hair, rockstar t-shirt, any scar on their face, bad smell or armpit, etcetra.

4. Walk faster, make sure you reach the destination quick.

5. If you don't mind, start walking with your umbrella open. It can works as a shield.

What you should do if..

1. Before you went out of the house, say your grace to Allah, to be kept from any harm, either from those hidden from your eyes or visable. Just pray it won't be you next.

2. Keep the police hotline handy, you never know.

3. Be quick to act. Try to say calm and not panic.

4. Carry a small bottle of mineral water or plain water to wash it off.

5. Or you can avoid walking altogether like get a cab, bus or even, you can drive to wherever.

Well now, what would you do?

After publishing this like a minute ago I started to think aloud:

"Abam, what trigger these people to start splashing acid liquid to civilian?"

These are what my hubby said:

1. Revenge. Mostly revenge.

2. They are bored.

3. They are jobless. They got no other things to do.

4. They are doing it for fun.Thrill and cheap adrenaline rush.

5. An abused child.

And why am I seeking the view from my other half?

Hell, I dunno what those dicks are thinking right?

Only a dick can dictate another dick.

Ladies, this is when you fell of your chair. Laughing.

135th

2011-05-12T12:52:00.000+08:00

Marriage is not a dumb thing to do Bruno, please return to Mars. STAT.

Harap2 takde remaja yang singkat akal menolak idea perkahwinan.

Itu kan sunnah.

Marriage is hard. It is tough. But it is never dumb.

It is the clash of two titans, bringing their kingdom together.

No blood shed, all sword sheathed.

Once married, you will have to respect each other vigorously.

Love each other undeniably. Stay faithful and live tolerably.

All in the name of Allah, God the Almighty.

Some might wish to expand their kingdom.

Giving heir after heir to prolong the bloodline and their legacy.

Some might contented to their comfort zone, not eager to venture outside their wall.

It is a wonderful and intriguing journey.

Something this collosal, magnificient can never be dumb.

Rasa cam nak sepak2 budak Bruno ni.

134th

2011-05-10T12:56:00.003+08:00

5 Sebab Utama Kenapa Saya Nak Jadi Kurus dan Skinny?

1. Saya nak jadi model.
Boleh terbang ke sana sini (yang ditaja), pakai mekap seinci dua (pun ditaja) tergedik2 di atas pentas tanpa memikirkan halal haram, baik buruk, dosa pahala, syurga neraka. Model kesah ke semua tu? Agak cliche.. eh.. agak irony. Takkan la dah tunjuk semua sana sini sana sini, terfikir ke pasal hari Pembalasan? Ihiks (gelak comel ala model).

2. Saya nak jadi bimbo.

"I tak tau la kenapa I gemuk."

Tapi berat 50kg je pun.

"I tak cantik... uhuks."

Skil pancing puji untuk mengembangkan hati sendiri.

"Kalu U sayang I, U kene beli gak Iphone, tak kira tak kiraaaa."

Enuf said, toyboy ataupun boyfren sure rebah memakan tanah tatkala kita mula merengek dan menghentak2 kaki. Bila kita kurus, jadi bimbo okay jek, mentua pon sayang la. I lep lep dibilang.

3. Kalau main jongkang jongkit, saya selalu di atas.
Tak kisah la main apa pun, saya akan selalu berada di atas. Yang lain akan menyerah kalah tanpa dipaksa.

4. Mudah membeli belah.
Sennang, nak beli baju ape pun, ada saiz. Sarung dan bayar keluar. Tak kesah la baju tu nampak lurah dan celah. Orang cantik (kurus kan bermakna cantik) kena serlahkan aset yang ada. Flaunt it girls! Mudah tawar menawar, jurujual pun sayangkan kita semua.

5. Mudah nak jadi Datin, Puan Seri dan Toh Puan.
Read: Sitot, Lynn Rambut Gerbang dan bekas bekas bini Sultan B*un*i (jgn saman saya tau, saya lom kurus lagi).

Hakikatnya:
Saya malas exercise. Malas! malas! malas!

Saya suka makan!

Saya dah semulajadi bimbo ihiks! Tak kurus pon leh je jadi bimbo tapi obnoxious la kan.

Saya baru je belajar halal haram, dosa pahala, seksa neraka.

Yang pasti - Neraka itu amatlah panas der.

133rd

2011-04-25T11:38:00.002+08:00

Dah penat mencari kuasa positif.

Kerja sambil lelap mata la jawabnya.

Just going with the flow. Ahaks.

132nd

2011-04-25T11:23:00.002+08:00

This is my Monday.

Bleak. Gloom. Full of negativity.

Deep down - I feel like I need to bash some people up.

Like a lion I am, eating you alive.

But being a kitten (sexkitten?) that is just wishful thinking.

I went back to Tranum yesterday, seeing my mom and dad, the whole lot there.

I hope I can see them everyday.

That is why I'm applying for the Lynas job vacancies.

If any.

He's going for an interview today. I think he'll be late again for it.

Geeh.

Yeah, tell me about it.

I'm so sour today. I hope I can be sweet again.

And I hope that stupid ghost that occupy the big master bed room will leave me alone.

Hmm.

131st

2011-04-14T23:07:00.002+08:00

It's late Thursday night, pain in my stomach and it's hot in here.

I want to go sleep.

The pillow and bed await.

Yet I did not feel tired.

I don't have the reason to bade.

The clock is ticking. It is 11.09pm.

I know it is late.

But both eyes are wide awake.

I will hit the shower.

Cool it off with generous lather.

I hope I can find the conclusion.

For my dready, night summer.

Alo, Malaysia Summer? Udah berangan makcik, pi tido besok keje!

130th

2011-04-14T07:34:00.004+08:00

Nak tempah baju raya tapi dah full! Grrr!

This morning I've read one of my favourite blog, and hmmm.. *sighs

It is hard when a tough person that you have known for all your life, suddenly went limp. It's hard to see, and harder to deal with.

I always said to myself, if ever stumble, just pick yourself up, dust it off, and move on. Moving on. It is easier said than done.

Take me and my-exs for example.

We ended our relationship in a good term, so it's hard for me just to move on. I supposed to consider the 'end of relationship' as a 'stumble' in my pace of life. But I failed miserably. Or maybe I should have a cat and dog fights, scratch each other to leave scars and that shall remind us of the heartache hence it will prevent us from seeking each others comfort even after so many years (read: 11 years).

Alas, I'm not made of stronger element. I was made with sugar and spice and everything that's nice. What I've become is someone who is forgetful and forgiving. Yes, I did remember some of the moment which are bad, but those good moment supersede them all. I know in my heart, there is no hate towards any of my exs, but there's also not a chance for me to go down the same road. Yes, people tend to make mistake. Either you allow them to do such upon you, that is for you to decide.

I really wish all of you good health and good living.

For those less fortunate, I share your grief. I was there before, I hope you will get back on your feet in no time. Life is always hard but never unfair.

And Yus - Selamat Pengantin Baru.

129th

2011-04-10T11:43:00.003+08:00

I'm trying to blog this while watching 'WipeOut' on the national tv.

Let me try to list down what are the things that bugging me lately. Or now.

1. Facebook

2. Simplicity

3. Spending quality time.

Sighs. Boy, this is hard.

My thoughts kept getting cut short by these athletes on tv. Lol. But the fire fighter already quit, seems like the obstacles were too much for his old self.

We all got friends, some are well kept hidden, others are out in the open. Some are considered best friends, and some are just acquaintance. Nevertheless, these people are connected to you, either for longer time , or for a brief moment.

Kawan kita pun manusia juga. So ada kurang, ada lebih juga. Macam kita kan? Manusia kan semua sama.

SO, if your so-called friend remove you from any social media, I don't see why we must take offence. It is entirely their rights. Lantak la dia nak add ke nak remove ke nak wish birthday ke. Tak perlu la nak kecil hati or terasa. It's just a friend page! They are still your friend nonetheless. Kalau terserempak tu, tegur je la. Tak payah nak tanya, wtf you remove me from your friendlist? It's not appropriate.

And it is not the end of the world. If you value your friends, you won't do things to offend them in the first place. Kalau salah, minta maaf. Kalau tak salah pun, maafkan je la. Susah ke? Benda senang je. Simple.

Tapi, tak semua benda simple. Life is never simple. Eh betul ke?

Life is ALWAYS complicated. How we deal with it, either you can make it simple or you just don't. Beza tau, dipermudahkan dan diambil mudah. Mungkin betul banyak benda dalam dunia ini yang agak mudah.

Bercakap benda lagha : mudah.
Menuduh tanpa usul periksa : mudah.
Makan KFC berbaldi-baldi tanpa rasa bersalah : sangat mudah

I think when we started to think of their consequences, then it will be complicated. It won't be easy anymore. Konsekuen selalunya terlalu lewat menghadirkan diri. Terkadang bila dah hadir, it's already too late. Harap saya takkan terlewat.

Now is watching Yuna and Qi eating their heart out (dan saya ternampak bunga2 halimunan berterbangan di sekeliling mereka). Muahahahahahahaha! Cam comel je kan, they are both in denial so bila they sat and having dinner, as if a peek of their future together (Gitulah roman eh kalau besok2 dah kawen kan, makan kat luor together gather).

Time makan memang bonding time kan?

We can talk about all things possible. Usually I refrain myself to enter into an arguement if we were in the middle of having food. Nanti rezeki lari, mak bilang.

Kinda think about it, dah banyak benda yang saya dah refrain from doing. Saya dah kurang bercakap, kurang shopping, kurang tengok wayang, kurang melepak, kurang mengulau, kurang manicure, kurang ke saloon. Hmmm.

Dan Iblis tu memang musuh ketat saya, tak habis2 berbisik dan memberi gambaran nikmat.

Cilako la Iblis ne!

128th

2011-03-31T12:26:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I wonder, why shit happens.

At times I caught you staring in the mirror.

Looking at me, looking at you, all that shit that you do.

Memang patutlah hidup lu tak selamat bro.

Padan la dgn muka ko.

127th

2011-03-22T19:48:00.003+08:00

Kawan.
Sampai bila pun kita berkawan.
Jangan pernah jadi lawan.
Walau berjauhan.

Kawan.
Jangan ku tak dihiraukan.
Rasa pedih dan sepi kian mengawan.
Terperosok aku seorang, tidak terlawan.

Kawan.
Ku tak risau.
Tapi tatkala memori mengimbau.
Jiwaku semakin kacau.

Kawan.
Biar berkawan sampai mati.
Pasti takkan rugi.
Aku akan selalu di sisi.

Kawan.
Ayuhlah, kita berkawan.
Marilah, ku pimpin tangan.
Senyumlah, jangan segan.

126th

2011-03-21T15:23:00.003+08:00

Rasa.
Terbiasa.
Rasa yang biasa.
Sudah tiada.

Kemana menghilang semua rasa?

Bukan hampir.
Bukan masih.

Terus tiada.

Gembirakah?
Sangat, tidak terkata!

125th

2011-03-21T14:29:00.003+08:00

You make my heart sing
With all the joy you bring
You chase away my blues
And now I am so into you
I’m not asking much for
There’s an ocean between us
Just to be entrusted, be true and never in disguise
I know I have been blessed
I’ve got you, nothing more nothing less.

124th

2011-03-21T09:56:00.000+08:00

Yeah
Y.o.u.
Everyday I’m thinking about
Y.o.u.
I’ve started to rhyme, hum a tune about
Y.o.u.
Make me smile
Y.o.u.
make me go uh uh
My heart is full with a picture of
Y.o.u.
And when it’s night, I’ll be dreaming of
Y.o.u.
When I’m awake, I’m bit sad cause I could not find
Y.o.u.
But then I close my eyes and all I see is
Y.o.u.
Y.o.u.
Y.o.u.
I think I might have fallen for
Y.o.u.
It’s sure damn nice if I finally get to meet
Y.o.u.

123rd

2011-03-16T12:57:00.002+08:00

i.a.m.l.o.n.e.l.y

i.a.m.s.a.d

i.d.e.s.e.r.v.e.b.e.t.t.e.r

i.a.m.d.e.v.a.s.t.a.t.e.d

i.a.m.d.e.p.r.e.s.s.e.d

i.r.e.a.l.l.y.w.a.n.t.t.o.d.i.e

122nd

2011-01-23T14:53:00.002+08:00

i know it's been a while. i can't deny.

it's been up. it's been down as well.

i am stuck yet i am not looking for a way out.

it is sunday and it feels mightily like monday.

sometimes it's good to have monday blues on a sunday.

least you can bury yourself in that thick woolen blanket.

so many things i want. so many things i despise.

sometimes having so much can only mean you don't have enough.

i am a bitch sometimes, i try to be one most of the time.

for being kind and get step upon, it's so not me, yet i can't pretend.

i am, for one, is joyous when you are sad. i glee at your morose side.

i really hope you will die soon. but hey, i can't really get all that i want.

life is already tough, yet you have created unnecessary obstacles.

to battle you, means to bring the nastiest of me.

be prepared, cause i'm here only to win.

and she who sangs love is a battlefield.

amen to her, raise your armor, before i struck you down with my blood thirsty blade.

121st

2011-01-01T13:23:00.001+08:00

Saje. Gatey.

2011.

Alhamdulillah.

Insya Allah.

Astagfirullah.

Nau'zubillah.

Amin.

120th

2010-12-20T20:22:00.002+08:00

ketua hakim negara buat spot check, kul 8 am kerani still baca sotkabar. heh.

gila ah gaji buta ork?

tak semua gitu.

tapi tu la kan, perit keje gomen.

rajin sgt kang bilang nak bodek.

tingat masa keje gomen satu waktu dahulu.

ada orang tu punchcard (guna tag nama la) kul 7.50am. bersungguh2 dia berlari nak tag sebab ada satu opis kat depan tangga tu. ngam2 la kan. udah dia tag tu, dia patah balik, pi lepak mamak kat sebelah opis dia (read: tapak skolah st mary).

kan?

sedangkan saya, sampai keje awal pagi, siap tak pi lunch sebab diet (tipu ke?) tapi sebab kita ske facebook.. ske ym.. ske blogging.. siap kene verbal morning you.

cam sial kan mereka?

aahhh. tak semua.

a'ah memang tak semua.

cuma si jantan sengal di sebelah cubicle saya jek.

tambahan: mamat sengal ni siap tak puas ati saya dpt internet privilege.. dork.

119th

2010-12-20T20:17:00.002+08:00

wah. sesuai gitu. sempena banjir kilat di bahagian utara semenanjung. nyeh nyeh!

kadang2 kan masa tgh drive ke. tgh mam ke. tetiba je tingat satu topik. and usually i promise myself to jot it down or to put it up here. tet! jarang2 sekali.

ke memang tak pernah.

banyak idea senornya tapi keterbatasan waktu.

selalu dah taip pepanjang pehtu maxis kene rasuk plak kan.

marah tau!

most of the time, menaip dalam keadaan marah. tah apa apa.

kenapa laaa pompuan sgt beremosi?

iklan: rasa cam nak pi k-pop party la.. tp saya tak muda lagi.

cer kalau pompuan ni kurang beremosi? kurang empathy?

nasib baik la kan. kalo tak.. haishh.. unthinkable.

instead, patutnya bersyukur.

alhamdulillah saya masih beremosi (secara sihat).

alhamdulillah saya masih ber-empathy.

kalo tak sure budak motor yg dok menyayur saya tadi da penyet kene gelek ngan cik viv.

kan?

alhamdulillah.

118th

2010-12-17T19:25:00.002+08:00

macam tu la kan kehidupan?

tak selama kita boleh bahagia. dan tak selama tu juga kita menderita.

kalau kita rasa kita sudah tidak disayangi, kita silap.

tapi itu kan normal, titik hitam di atas kertas pink tu seolah menjadi satu permasalahan yg besar.

padahal satu titik je. kecik. cinonet.

,

eh salah tu koma.

.

see?

alas, a single 'dot' means 'the end'.

an end to a beautiful story.

an end to a melodious lyrics.

the end.

...

..

.

there will be more to come. don't fret.

take it in a positive way.

see it as another start of another beautiful stories.

yeah right.

geeh. who am i kidding?

if that should happen to me, i will perish.

i will stumble in the dust and yet i won't be able to pick myself up again.

i will suffer. i will not die from it though.

or maybe i would.

i would die because of my aching heart.

i would cry myself to sleep day in and day out.

i refuse to keep going, i refuse to stay moving.

i want to wait. and rot. for the one i love.

broken heart disease.

117th

2010-12-17T19:17:00.003+08:00

ada satu blog tu. ske gak la folo. so sweet, kata org zaman skang.

he thought he was in heaven..

sekali lihat macam kisah cinta remaja. saya pun tatau. bab saya tak dan nak bercinta masa remaja *crosses fingers*

tapi apakan daya, kasih mereka.. isk.. bacalah sendiri.

116th

2010-12-01T09:07:00.002+08:00

making sense of a nonsense.

looking back, i hardly gloat about our Raya 2010. must've slipped my mind, tell you the truth.

unlike last year, 2010 Raya was simply a blast. we went to no less than 10 houses for beraya and all.

one of those houses was Wan Andak's house. Wan Andak lived with my ever so lovely Mak Ngah.

it is a yearly ritual, each and every raya (unless we had it in Kuantan) my mom and dad will bring us all to visit Wan Andak house. what so special is my Mak Ngah, who is suffering from sever rheumatoid arthritis to the point of not having usage to her arms and torso. She can only use her legs to do minor chores then. now, she's crippled and need to crawl her way around. or in a wheel chair which she can't reach.

Wan Andak is her champion. The only one.

deep in my heart, i really love being at her house simply because the house, small it might be, but is bursting with love.

it just like yesterday, after we salam Wan Andak, she pulled up her shirt to reveal a wound where it should been a breast. we never know Wan Andak had a breast surgery to help remove the cancer cells within. it came as a shock. she showed us the bits that still left on her chest and her right arm which was swollen as if it will pop anytime soon.

this was the first time my husband meets with this family. he bursts to tear at the sight of Mak Ngah. being an emotional freak such myself, it was heart wrenching. Mak Ngah was sitting, with her head in my husband lap, crying her heart out. if only she could speak, i bet she will tell us her stories, of pain and suffering.

don't cry in front of her, my mom used to tell us when we were little. it may make her sad, she said.

no word can describe such a heart breaking moment.

it really makes me feel humble and gratified.

i don't think i could cope should i was in her shoes. Mak Ngah is one remarkable and strong woman i've ever met.

before we left, we leave behind some love and ration. that is all we are capable of. it is not much, i can assure, but that is all we got.

i remembered telling my husband that we will come again to Wan Andak house, insya Allah, next raya due to the rotation between Pahang and Negri as agreed before.

i never knew it would be sooner..

Wan Andak passed away on November 29, 2010 at the age of 75 due to breast circoma.

i must be strong for my mom, for my Mak Ngah but the sight of her makes me weak.

i must not cry but i can't hold these tears much longer.

it's okay Mak Ngah, as i rub her back, Allah is with us. Allah will look after you Mak Ngah.

don't you fret Mak Ngah. all will be fine.

and still..

i cry to this date, as i was writing this.

i can't sleep, i keep thinking of her.

but i have faith. Allah will not let us down.

Al-fatihah for my ever loving Wan Andak.

115th

2010-11-17T20:52:00.003+08:00

Heh. Saje. Terajin.

Cuaca skang ni very bad kan? Orang2 yg kebal pon leh terbatuk2. Kesian ape, bab mereka kan kebal. Kita ni len la.. fragile.. nyeh nyeh!

Kita terasa ooo bila org2 sound.. blog ko tak hapdet ke?

Akak penat tau! Keje banting tulang 4 kerat!

Lagi kat opis blog kene sekat.. senget jek.. fesbuk leh la plak kan.. aduhaii terpaksa laa saya berfesbuk dgn jayanyaaaa!

(Ayah ni time ni la nak soh tuko bateri jam.. arghhhhh! Kita dah meniarap nehhh!)

Dah termati idea kita.. isk

114th

2010-11-17T20:43:00.003+08:00

Today raya..

Mula2 ok.. time subuh dah bangun pehtu dengar takbir.. nanes.. (pastuh tertido tanpa Subuh bab terbodo).

Pehtu kol 9am terbangun.. capai baju2 kotor, nak basuh.. pehtu mandi..

Tetengah mandi terpikir..

Agak2 tahun depan dapat lagi ke aku beraya haji dgn mak dan abah?

Nanes lama gak la lam tandas.

Lepas mandi.. kul 9.40am.. kejut Ayah, beraya dulu la.. salam.. mintak maaf.. mintak halal makan minum.. tipu ckp nak pi Gumbak jek..

Tapi.. kul 1pm dah sampai Kuantan.. hehe

Surprisee mak! Supriseee abah!!

Lepas makan siap baik, tak lupa jugak tapau ke Ayah, gerak.

Sampai Gumbak kul 5.30pm.. amik daging dan makan lagi. yeah!

Sampai Cheras kul 7pm.. tgk Ayah tgh jamming..

Dok bebaik tepi dia.. cakap pelan jek..

"Ayah, td kita senornya balik Kuantan.."

"I know.."

"U r not mad?"

"Nope.."

(Dalam hati : AILEBIYUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!! ))

"Jom Ayah, mamam"

Siyes weh, wa tak penah miss beraya ;)

113th

2010-11-17T20:25:00.003+08:00

Hehe.. masuk wad lagi kan?

Tahun ni je dah second time.. first time arituh bab .. hmm.. food poisoning cum luka lam perut (sape soh makan cam setan kan?)

Monday morning, kene asthma attack dgn jayanya! Pastuh pi la amik gas kat klinik yg biasa tu. Doc tu terkejut bab BP sgt2 tinggi ok! If tak silap.. 170/130.. but honestly, wa ok jek. Leh drive2, singgah kedai beli air. Tak tumbang pun.

So dalam kul 11am tu pi la KPJ Kajang bab Doc td dah wat referal kan. SO ape lagi. Admitlah. GL was created under 'bronchopneumonia'. Wahhh! Bombastic y'all!

Excited jek kan aku dok wad? Oh itu sudah musti, nurse comey (ada male nurse plak lagi.. fewittt! akak dah kawen dik!) tapi yg tak sedap tu.. well.. biasalah.. kul 3am jek terjaga. Benci ah!

So duduk laa dalam wad until semalam, Tuesday. Beria2 meyakinkan doc, saya dah baik doc.. nak balik sambut raya nehhh! Dan berjaya!

Yeayyy!

Sape kata muka comel sy nie tak leh diguna??

112th

2010-10-25T13:19:00.002+08:00

sekarang cepat penat. dunno why.

tidur 8 jam sudah tidak lagi memadai.

kalau masuk tidur kul 8pm pun, kul 3am sure terjaga.

nak kencing la, dahaga la. berak pon ada.

kacau tul.

kenapa cepat penat skang ni? mari kita analisa:

1. gemuk
tak perlu dibincangkan lagi. benci..

2. banyak benda dalam kepala.
betul, kekadang kene pujuk diri sendiri untuk tido, fobia dgn hari keesokkannya. bukan ke patutnya aku ke bersyukur kalau dan bangun lagi besoknya tu? haishh

3. kurang bersenam.
saya kan semput, nak bersenam? ada ke org mati sebab bersenam? takde kan?
itu alasan jek la eh? kalo bersenam leh segarkan badan? ye ke?

4. tak makan vitC.
betul sebab rasa dia meloyakan saya.

5. tak makan scott's emulsion.
eh betul la, dah jarang makan sejak beli botol besar. kalo botol kecik tu laju jek kan. hmm. buat mental note: lenkali beli botol kecik.

6. resah tak tentu pasal
yosh, kalo anxiety terlebih, boleh kut ganggu sistem badan. memang la kekadang badan tak penat bekerja, tapi otak penat berpikir. rasionalnya : badan jadi lebih penat dari biasa.

7. Thalasemia
takkan kot, lom kompem lg pun, baru disaspek jek..

8. kurang minum air
tipu! dah bergelen minum tapi mungkin tak cukup ngan kapasiti kut..

9. kurang makan buah
yea, saya mengaku bersalah

10. makan banyak
benciiiii! so true!!

dah. pi wat keje.

111th

2010-10-20T16:44:00.003+08:00

Jgn ketawakan saya yea..

2 3 months ni, kalo lambat je piyet, rasa cam nak dapat pos laju dari posmen.

hati girang tak terkata.

rasa cam nak dapat beruang.

or lampu tidor.

tak kesah la, janji present.

pastu bila tetiba piyet tu terdatang lak, terasa cam posmen tu kene eksiden kat memana.

so the present undelivered.

alaa.

takpe. cuba lagi kan?

cuba dan cuba, jangan putus asa kan?

tapi kalo tetiba la..

pos laju tu tersampai pulak..

huishh..

tak terbayang.

kun fa ya kun.

debar2 dada ku.

110th

2010-10-08T17:05:00.001+08:00

12/10/2010 Genap setahun keje sini.

Gembira?

Sedih?

Sesal?

Benci?

Meluat?

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

janji saya dibayar gaji, cukup!

dan kerja seikhlas hati, makhluk2 ganjil di sekeliling ni, persetankan..

109th

2010-09-03T20:34:00.002+08:00

i always wonder.

would life be much different if i'm not in this shoes?

would life be more easier if i'm wearing a size S t-shirt instead?

would they love me more if my jeans size is 26?

my life was hard, even harder now.

i got no one else to blame but myself.

i never thought, not once, that people will stop judging you by your good heart and start to look at your appearance.

i used to hate shallow people. now i loathe them.

i fucking hate my life right now.

honestly!

108th

2010-09-02T16:08:00.002+08:00

lg 4 hari nak keje.. weeeeee!!

jumaat, isnin, selasa, rabu pehtu cabutttt!

yea, kelmarin saya buat lengkong milo.

bahan bahannya ialah:

setengah peket agar2
one half cup of milo powder
quart of condensed milk
quart of fresh milk
Air 3 and half cup
(please use the same cup all over )

saje je.. tulis sini just in case lupa

saya kan beginners ;)

.
.
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.

sedap gile!

107th

2010-08-30T08:06:00.003+08:00

wah! berkobar2 nak menaip! jari2 ku laju, otak ku berpusing ligat! wah! wah! wah!!!

misi menjelang raya:

cari baju kurung? check!

cari baju melayu? check!

cari songkok dan samping? check!

cari kasut? check!

cari tudung? check!

cari beg dan purse? check!

cari kueh raya? check!

servis kete? check! (i love you Mr Arif! you rock my world and universe!)

so apa lg yg tinggal?

balik raya laaa!!! yeaaahuuuuuu!!!

.
.
.
.
.

mengalahkan 12 years old jek kan? hahahahaha!

106th

2010-08-26T13:31:00.002+08:00

women always got something to say.

sometimes they say things the wrong way.

sometimes they say things of the opposite.

saya?

banyak saya nak nak cerita.

tapi..

keterbatasan.

cukup ke saya hanya berkata2 di dlm hati?

diluah jadi benci, disimpan jadi barah?

gosh.

sebelum bercakap, fikir dulu la kan.

tak perlu rasanya bercakap ikut sedap diri sendiri.

benci kan?

verbal abuse is still consider an abuse.

ponder that.

105th

2010-08-25T10:43:00.002+08:00

semalam cuba2 buat popia kecik.. heeee

cuba guna inti serunding ikan, berjaya!

cuba guna inti serunding daging, terus jadi wantan daa.. ahahahahaha

gagal!

tapi..

muskil..

sepeket kulit popia ada 50 keping.

dipotong empat, supposed dpt dalam 200 biji la kan?

kulit rosak bab kena air = 30 keping.

patut ada lagi 170 bijik popia.

tapi separuh balang pun tak sampai.

takkan termakan kot?

.
.
.
.
.
.

guilty as charged. muahahahahahaha!

104th

2010-08-23T10:27:00.002+08:00

damn sleepy.

my eyelids seem to glue to each other.

oh yea, last saturday i went for some potluck buka puasa at Ebby's in Putrajaya.

went with mar and jai, the food was great, the crowd was awesome.

kids was loud. i've got headache just by watching them.

thank God i dun have any kids yet.

plain not ready.

i think if my kids give tantrum, i might end up in tears my self.

so better not.

not yet.

this week might be heading back to Linggi for shopping or whatnot.

need to buy some for my MIL and SIL.

and need to fulfill my heart desire.

cheh. gediks.

103rd

2010-08-20T08:29:00.002+08:00

this morning tah apa apa, tertinggal wallet kecik kat atas yg mengandungi nyawa tambahan so patah balik ke rumah, panjat semula tangga. hinsh. mengah!

pagi ni buat dosa sket tp dah cakap maaf.

pastu rasa cam tak jadi la beli oven.. takde sokongan moral.

so stick to kuih popia kecik jek la.. mini popia yg letak serunding tu..

janji ada kan?

so kene beli minyak bebanyak, leh goreng guna dapur letrik ja.

goreng atas meja kan.

bijok bijok.

tp saya memang teringin kuih jem stoberi tu..

hmm.

soh mak buat la.

semalam buat pengat pisang. berjaya!

dia pon suka bab tak manis sgt.

abih semangkuk.

susah nak tgk dia makan abih tau.

kembang kempis dada saya tgk dia makan.

so damn proud of myself.

yeah.

102nd

2010-08-19T11:55:00.002+08:00

cita cita saya sempena Hari Raya (termasuk pre Raya sekali daa) :

1. memakai baju raya warna kuning cair sedondong, dihiasi tudung funky warna pelangi.. wahhh!

2. buat kuih popia kecik.. disumbat dengan inti serunding daging yg baeekkk punya.

3. membakar satey, termasuk satey tembusu utk dihidang di pagi raya

4. bersolat raya di surau tranum

5. buat kueh jem, dia bulat2 ada lubang di tengah utk diisi dgn jem.. wow

6. masak sup gearbox! uhh uuhhh!!

7. beraya sakan, keluar dari pagi sampai petang sampai malam utk ziarah umah sanak sedara

skian cita cita saya

p.s. saya tak kira, saya nak beli oven!!

101st

2010-08-18T11:04:00.001+08:00

Besok Mak kita operate.

Malam ni kena buat solat hajat.

100th

2010-08-13T12:21:00.002+08:00

haishh.

saya suka ke tgk org lain bergaduh?

ke saya jenis yg.. err.. macamana eh saya ni?

yea, masing masing ada masalah masing masing.

damage control la. think before you act.

cakap memang la senang kan?

hidup kalau takde masalah, bukan hidup namanya.

tengah2 taip ni, dalam keadaan serius dan muka berkerut ni.. tetiba terbayang kobis goreng.

dgn tomato.. udang.. sotong.. eemmmmm.... *sambil pejam mata

.

.

.

.

cepat sungguh lari tumpuan. uwaaaaaaaaaa!

99th

2010-08-12T08:49:00.002+08:00

makhluk2 yg pernah berada di bawah jagaan saya.

masa form 5, family bela sekor kucing ni. nama dia chemong. baik budak kucing ni. ramai jugaklah offspring dia. 2 3 generasi jugaklah dok kat umah tu. selalu tido ramai2 dgn anak dia tp tido dekat mak. mak tak suke chemong. hahahahaha. tapi sadly, chemong ngan anak2 dia mati keracunan. biasalah kan kucing suke kemam2 rumput, sekali pagi tu MPK dah spray racun kat rumput tu semua. meninggal chemong ngan anak2 dia atas riba mak. kesian mak.

paling ingat sekali masa bidankan chemong. masa tu hari bergambar kat sekolah. sanggup tak pi skolah sebab jadi bidan kucing. senget la. masa form 5 la tu babtu gambar kelas saya takde yea kekawan.

(tapi bgtau cikgu tak sihat.. wawawawawa)

masa dok bujang2 arituh pun ada sekor. nama dia binky tapi panggey binkbink je. nakal ya rabbi. hobi dia bertenggek tepi tingkap. tingkat 5 tu sayang wehhh! nak tanak each time kuor rumah ke, kena katup semua tingkap ngan pintu bilik. takut dia merayau lam bilik pastu tercirit ke. naya.

amik binkbink masa dia kena dera ngan anak jiran. siap rasuah 10 hengget.. amik binkbink naik atas, mandikan dia, bagi makan, minum susu, terus dia tido. tapi dia memang baik. terus simpan lam rumah. tak bagi kuar dah.

3 hari pertama tu, kurung dia lam tandas. siap letak makan minum la. seksa betul 3 hari ni dia ngiau tanpa henti. risau gak dia sakit. tapi everything went smoothly. by 4th day, dah tak kurung dia lagi. kurung ni sebab nak mengajar dia berak lam tandas. hasilnya, bawak la balik ke mana sekalipun, tak kesah la rumah sapa, dia nak berak ke kencing ke, dia cari tandas. tgh lari2 main kat luar pon, dia akan meluru masuk tandas. hahahahahaha. ada gak la insiden mak termasuk tandas masa dia tgh doing business, terkejut mak. binkbink bising, dia tak ske kene skodeng.

dia benci dgn kucing lain. mula mula la. tak ngam. dok lam umah jek.

kalo balik kg, sure bawak dia. memula dia seriau kot naik kete. pehtu dia jadi cam suka lak. merayau2 jek. tak penah la lagi dia nak berak lam kete. sebab biasanya bertolak lepas dia dah setel semua2. lepas mandi, lepas keringkan badan, baru gerak. jauh tak jauh, 4 jam la jugak perjalanan kan. kalo bawak binkbink naik kete, dia pi la jalan2 satu kete tu. duduk kat cermin belakang. tengok garisan atas jalan. tapi tempat favourite dia kat atas bahu. kalo ringan takpe ok. tapi takpelah, sebab dia good girl, kita tak kesah sgt. sampai tertido2 dia.

masa raya 2007 bawak binkbink balik. silap time, musim mengawan. ada lak sekor si belang ni, da la muka buruk tp ayat power kot, binkbink ikut dia tak balik2 dah. nangis gak la sesorang sepanjang perjalanan dalam kete tu. tp dah sampai KL, mak call ckp binkbink dah balik. dia memang tanak ikut balik KL kut. dia nak dok sana. takpelah.

ingat lagi binkbink koyakkan sofa, birat jugaklah dia kene pukul kan.

dia koyakkan bawah sofa so dia leh menyorok situ time2 dia tension ke.

dia tak ske kilat petir. penakut.

ada sekali burung lelayang kot termasuk lam umah. dia punya ngiau kat telinga punyalah. suruh kita bangun. pastuh sama naik jek kita ngan dia terlompat2 geli tgk burung tu.

memula tido sama. tetiap malam tido sama. tapi agak2 kul 3 sebok nak pi kencing kena bukak pintu. last2 tido bukak pintu. tak tahan asthma sebab binkbink suka tido atas muka, terpaksa dia tido luor. tapi ada la basket dia kan. pintu maintain terbukak in case dia nak kejutkan ke.

now tengok jirannya yellow, kesian pun ada sebab yellow duduk lam kandang kat luar. takleh masuk umah. takleh nak lari2.

uish. ilang dah ngantuk. hehe.

sambung wat keje. tadi ngantuk cam ape jek.

98th

2010-08-11T09:28:00.002+08:00

hari pertama puasa. syukur dgn apa yg ada, yg boleh dimakan. semalam memang dah masak lebih. tapi ada musang masuk dapur. mungkin musang tu masuk ikut tingkap kan?

malam ni saya nak tutup tingkap.

hari ni besday abah saya. dah call, dah wish lam FB. dia mam megi jek sahur td, mak dah masak banyak tp dia saje, ngader2 nak bermanja katanya. takpe. setahun sekali kan mak?

cik abg pun dah sms abah. hehe. thanks darling, saya tau awak tak brp bab2 wish besday neh. i really appreciate it.

mimpi malam td sangat kecamuk. mimpi faizal tahir datang beraya kerumah. gila.

puasa baru sehari dol!

yang abg faizal tahir ni pon satu, ske ngat masuk lam mimpi saya. kenapa la.

tadi pi keje kul 6.30 sampai opis pon awal. bercita2 nak gosok2 bos mintak diberi balik awal.

cik abg bilang, by hook or by crook, dia akan balik kul 4. wah.

pagi tadi on the way ke office, dah humming2 lagu dari jauh ku pohonkan ampun maaf.

puasa baru sehari dol!

aiseh, lupa, auditors dtg today.

takpe, tu bukan alasan takleh puasa.

selamat berpuasa uols!

97th

2010-08-10T12:58:00.002+08:00

saya ada satu cita-cita sempena menyambut puasa

(tipu, senornya tak sabar nak raya kan?)

eh mana ada.

saya bercita-cita nak tukar langsir. langsir yg kat ruang tamu tu.

dah macam rupa ape tah.

warna pun dah berbelap-belap. (ke berbelam-belam?)

bayangkan, itulah langsir pertama dari seawalnya dahulu.

dah 5 tahun usia langsir tu.

kalaulah langsir tu ibarat seorang budak pompuan, sure skang dah pandai mengira dan membaca.

dah la tingkap tu sket nya tinggi, sebab tu saya tak pernah tukar langsir tu.

sapa nak panjat kan?

saya bajet2 nak kaler merah laa langsir tu. boleh?

wahahahahahahaha!

96th

2010-08-10T10:35:00.002+08:00

malam ni nengok anak bulan lagi. insya-Allah besok puasa. selamat berpuasa kepada sesapa jua yang membaca.

geli hati baca blog sorang kawan lama ni.

mungkin dia ada.. err.. trouble in paradise.. this fella jotted it down his blog, just last week i was reading it. and today i'm doing my normal revisit, the post was deleted. hahahahaha!

what makes it so funny?

he dun have the balls to say it out loud.

men.

they never want to admit one if they got problem and such.

egoistic.

they are ALL almighty soldier who carries the weight of the war on top of their shoulders. poyo.

plain silly.

you are still a human. you need to express your feeling. you got emotions. it does not make you less manly or makes you feminin.

it makes you grounded. having feelings is not just for us women.

men can have mixed feelings too.

when you guys suck, it gave us women something to laugh about.

especially those chauvinist and grumpy ones.

boo hoo!

eh. selamat menyambut ramadhan.

p.s. if you dun want me to read your blog, dats totally fine by me. we are strangers anyway. peace!

95th

2010-08-06T17:10:00.002+08:00

bad mood dari pagi sampai ke petang.

rasa cam nak marah. menjerit. ngamuk. merusuh.

nak bunuh org? belum la lagi.

igt lagi dosa pahala.

kalo bunuh orang kang, nanti kubur berdarah. isk.

boleh mendatangkan fitnah.

cam tak cukup2 plak dosa yg ada, takkan nak menambah kot.

bila marah, syaitan siap buat dikir barat.

hamlau la setan neh.

encik syaitan, boleh tak jangan berbisik di telinga saya ini?

berbisiklah di hidung saya ke. buntut saya ke.

atau anggota lain yg tidak mendengar.

baca ayat kursi la seround.

94th

2010-08-06T10:38:00.002+08:00

pada saya cinta itu..

bila menangis, ada yg peluk

bila merajuk, ada yg pujuk

bila sakit, ada yg picit

bila lapar, ada yg suapkan

bila sedih, ada yg ceriakan

bila risau, ada yg tenangkan

"jgn nangis lagi.. i kan ada.."

"takmo la merajuk lagi.. i kan ada.. "

"makanlah, nanti you sakit, i jugak yg susah.."

"i cinta pada you.. i tanak org lain selain you.. i nak you sentiasa ada di sisi.. i tanak mati sebelum you sebab i tau you mesti takleh idop sendiri sebab i tau you cinta pada i gak.. biar i mati selepas you so you tak rasa derita jiwa menanggung rindu pada i nanti.."

"i cinta pada you.. i tak perlu duit you, rumah you, kereta you.. i hanya nak you.."

"i cintakan you.. bukan bermaksud i tunduk pada you.. you yang terbaik utk i.. you yang dah ditakdirkan untuk i.. jauh mana i lari, lama mana i cari, tiada lain hanya you.. you je cinta hati i"

saya tak pernah rasa cinta.

93rd

2010-08-05T16:52:00.001+08:00

alaa.

jgn la pagar blog awak tu.

cemana saya nak baca?

saya takde master keys...

92nd

2010-08-05T09:49:00.003+08:00

tido lambat so bangun pun lambat.

akan tetapi, polis trafik memang champion la pagi tadi. buat roadblock so sakai2 yg potong kiri semua kena amik otogerapnya. kami yg berhemah ni lancar jek perjalanan. nyeh nyeh.

oh yea, tido lambat bab nengok North Country, it was Charlize Theron's movie. It's about a bunch of women who go to work at a coal mine where they endure sexual harrassment and abuse from fellow co-maleworkers. sangat emosi saya nengok cite itu. sumpah seranah dekat sebakul.

nasib baik saya tak cantik cam charlize theron kalo tak sure saya kene harrass gak.

tetiba.

cuaca kat opis arinih macam di bawah tahap beku. masa saya menaip ni, bangunan chipsmore dan orea serta muzik almond saya baru saja jatuh menyembah bumi. sape soh tindan tinggi2 kan?

engineer tak pass.

eh.

engineer ke arkitek yg buat bangunan? hehe.

saya takleh berlapar sejak hari itu.

saya gastrik teruk hingga menyebabkan peparu saya tension.

angin naik ke dada. pam laa berapa banyak ventolin pun.

tak pedihkan mata.

takde makna.

buat bazir je.

so baik takyah.

bila kita udah dipanggil utk pergi, tiada apa dan sesiapa dapat menghalangnya.

lunch date dgn sinai jap lg. hehe.

91st

2010-08-04T20:03:00.002+08:00

berlinang air mata saya. ya. saya tau dah lama. dah 5 tahun. tapi saya baru tau! biarlah. biarkan saya bersedih. pls.

masa saya form 1, saya ada sorang kawan baik nama Azrizal. dia ada adik sorang nama Farhana.

ya. saya lebih rapat dgn adik dia berbanding dia. dari umur dia 5 tahun. sampai dia sekolah rendah, yg seingat saya la. mungkin sebab dia takde kakak so dia sgt manja dgn saya.

memang masa tu saya pun umur baru 13 tahun. patutnya dah lupa.

even masa saya dah kuar dari bandar tu pun, dia sama skolah ngan adik. lupa. dgn eena ke dgn makbat. dia selalu tanya2 saya. agaknya dia rindu.

hari ni baru saya tau.

dia dah meninggal. 5 tahun lepas.

sedih. sebab saya tak dapat jumpa dia lagi.

saya cuba cari dia. setiap kali balik ke bandar tu. cuba add Azrizal dalam FB tp dia tak approve. dia taknak saya sedih ke? ke dia dah benci saya? takpelah.

tapi memang. saya rindu.

saya igt saya masa ada masa leh luang dgn dia.

tak semua benda kita leh dpt dalam hidup ni.

belajarlah menghargai.

saya kena redha kan.

lagipun dah lama dia pergi.

saya je yg baru tau.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

ana.. kak anie rindu tau. jgn igt kak anie tak sayang. kak anie sayang ok..

al-fatihah utk farhana husin.

90th

2010-08-04T14:22:00.002+08:00

tadi lepas Zuhur.. kuar pintu surau, nampak hubby.. hehehehehe kita psstt pssttt ke dia.. lepas tu pi nek lif ke tingkat dia.. dan baru turun balik. sengal.

masa lif turun tu, dia singgah level 2. ada laa sepasang awek ni masuk lif.. nak turun ke L la.. pastu awak yg sorang tu borak2 laa dgn kawan dia..

terdetik lam hati saya..

"eh, suara tu cam suara sinai la.. tp budak ni debab sgt la plak.. sinai kan kurus"

tak puas hatinya pasal, siap folo budak berdua ni masuk kedai runcit bawah tu.. try2 tgk tag keje dia..

"haishh.. tak napok laa pulok nama dia!"

derang dah kuor kedai, hishhh takleh jadi..

"eh, awak ni Sinai ke? kenal saya tak?"

dan terjadilah kejadian gomol menggomol.

muahahahahahahaha!

alhamdulillah! dah 10 tahun saya cari beliau, baru sekarang saya mendapat.

panjang umur saya. panjang umur dia. alhamdulillah!!

Amin! Amin! Ya rabbal alaminn!

yg sempat dia khabarkan tadi, umah dia kat Langat (dekat..) dan anak dia dah 3.. (aktif..)

heeeee!

sempat tukar2 no phone jek.. takpe lah, permulaan.

dia ckp dia pon ada cari saya, siap kol Am*ank tu.. tapi saya dah masuk A*tro..

kalo dah jodoh kan? insya Allah, sejadah hijau dulu tu saya ada simpan lagi ;)

sekarang ni, rasa lega..

sangat2.

89th

2010-08-04T11:34:00.002+08:00

wahh terlebeyy rajin!

again, this morning, we went out at our usual time.

road was clear up to the intersection of SMART and PJ.

this is very unusual jammed, he said.

very peculiar, he added.

oh, it was me. i'm wearing new dress today, i interjected.

the universe seems overwhelmed, i added.

i'm simply the centre of the universe, i chuckled.

and he was there. driving. trying to fight his chuckles and eliminates his smile.

muahahahahahahahahaha!

88th

2010-08-04T11:19:00.002+08:00

bab banyak system kaput in the office, so here i am..

this morning breakkie with nasi and kari ayam semalam.. dap..

i'm not really a dapur person (but i can eat alot tho!) but being a person who eats alot (this post seems to be redundance) i have mastered the culinary skills when i was at primary school.

cooking come easy to me BUT i never venture into exotic or new recipe.

it is always curry, kurma, masak kicap, sambal, gulai and masak lemak.

my main ingredients usually are onions, garlic, ginger, and spices which range from dried chilli paste, curry powder, kurma powder, and instant coconut milk. pathetic isn't it?

this morning on my way to the office, i've asked my hubby on how to do pineapple pajeri, he was saying '3 sekawan' is the main ingredients and i've lost my bearing. wtf is dat? he explained ever so patiently '3 sekawan' refers to cengkih, bunga lawang and darn-i-dun-remember-itsname. wah. i never knew i've married one of them god of cookery. hahahahahaha!

anyway,by what he's saying, it somehow meant that i NEVER really did my cooking because i dun really have the basic ingredients for a typical food, say ciken curry, i dun even use curry leaf (he dun really say dat but it's how i understand it)

well, i'm not typical then.

maybe. just maybe.

i will cook a COMPLETE ciken curry one day.

with all its spices. and coconut milk which is fresh.

and yes not forgetting dear curry leaf.

i wonder if it will taste as good as it suppose to be. or simply disastrous.

fingers cross ppl!

87th

2010-08-03T15:08:00.003+08:00

all of a sudden.. it came back.. as always..

A: I'm sick.. I dun think I can sleep.. I'm afraid.. Could you please lend your angel for me? To watch me over?
B: He's already there..
A: (silence)

B: I've got nothing to offer you alright! I got too much to dealt with! I got plenty on my plate already! I got nothing! Why just you dun go away!
A: (silence)

Scribbling this, i can feel my eyes burning.

my heart swell.

and there's a lump in my throat.

a sensation that does not need any adjective to describe.

i really hope this blog will help me thru whenever i've forgotten.

alas, i'm just human. i am forgetful.

p.s. pardon my grammar mistake or spelling error, i only got A2 in english for SPM, not A1. cheers.

86th

2010-08-03T11:50:00.002+08:00

or maybe this is my fault?

could it be?

it is i who is not oblivious to my surrounding.

i don't appreciate what i have now.

i don't realise how much love has been bestowed upon me.

i don't see how much i mean to you.

oh really?

looks like your definition of love is totally different from mine.

either we redefine. or. please teach me how to love.

no, i'm not in love yet.

i'm in between.

what i am now is nothing you can imagine. brimful.

85th

2010-08-03T09:50:00.003+08:00

i just want to be loved.

and i want to be happy too.

constantly. consistently.

nothing to worry about.

yes, i'm married.

but marriage should not put a full stop to your love.

or limited your love.

love is endless. love don't have limit. boundaries. border.

if i want to be happy, i must make you happy first.

but.. how?

you will be happy with someone else. not me.

if i allow that, i would be unhappy.

if i am unhappy, should i make you unhappy too?

you're happy then i am happy.

you're unhappy then i am unhappy.

you're good then i am good.

you're bad then i am bad.

am i just an echo to you?

how to love when you are in love with someone else?

your heart is tiny, can it occupy many people at one time?

your heart is weak, your head is lost.

where i will end up?

heaven or hell or purgatory?

please. love me.

84th

2010-08-02T15:56:00.002+08:00

Pelik aa..

I've noticed that there are some ppl who dun really like it when their friends are happy. I'm not going to use the word 'HATE' but yeah, they despise it so much when other ppl are getting good results and good life.

You just dun get it do you?

I refer to these type of ppl as 'Comforter'.

They usually the first to arrive at the scene of distress.

They lend their hand, their shoulder, their heart and their everything.

So they can comfort those in sadness, making the sadness part of their own and dwell in it.

They look as if they care. As if they are the only ppl that care.

Funny tho, when things are normal, they're gone.

They just dun show their faces anymore.

They dun have 'Hey, good for you' or 'I feel so happy for you'.

They only know 'It's okay, things will be just fine' or 'Let me take away your pain'.

Do these ppl feed on other ppl misery?

Well, do you?

You are freaking me out.

Yes you.

I know you read this.

Self pity eh?

Haishh.. move on la.

Plenty is waiting for you out there.

Seek and ye shall find.

Fight...

83rd

2010-08-02T15:31:00.003+08:00

Apakah kegiatan saya sempena sambutan hari lahir saya? Ecehh ecehh!

1. Menonton wayang tanpa henti back to back
Yosh, pi tgk wayang cam orang sawan. Memula tgk Salt.. biasalah Angie, stereotaip dah beliau, asal berlakon jek sure nak blasah org lelaki.. tapi memang patut dia tembak org Rusia tu, pi bunuh laki dia pesal kan? Uhuks.. sedeyy aii
Pastuh kuor pintu wayang, masuk balik barisan beratur amik tiket Sorcerer's Apprentice.. lers.. patut laa familiar.. abg Nicholas Kandang ropernya! Haishh! And that prick from 'She's Out Of Your League' dun really look like a 20 years old geek to me. He dun even look like a geek, he look like some horny sex offender more like.

2. Makan makan dan makan
Banyak sgt la tak kira laa mula ke last ke, in a nutshell, carrot cheese cake, half a kilo mangosteen, a kilo of rambutan, GCB, sambal minang ayam, sambal minang udang, GCB, ikan bakar sedap-ai-tak-tahan-you! Sekian.

3. Gift
It's a tradition since my first job, I will buy a gift for myself. This year, a blouse choose by him. Rasa sayang nak pakai.. the price tag is lying, it got 30% discount.

4. Eh.. malu ah!

82nd

2010-07-30T16:32:00.003+08:00

Thanks for the early wishes!!

81st

2010-07-30T09:00:00.003+08:00

Nah, da update.

Kita dah jadi segan2 lak.. bab tau ada orang baca kan..

So dah takleh mencarut sesuka suki lagi.

Anyway, there's about 3 or 4 months ago since my last post. Man, I'm tired.

After one mental note after another, the brain just resigned its post as a secretary.

I quit this job, it said. Hence now, the daily order became haywire. And I'm still recruiting.

Oh hey, I've watched Despicable Me, with my beloved babes, yeap, 2 of them. Babe hubby and Babe kak Sue.. heee. Ticklish experience I daresay but I'm looking forward for another 3D experience. Maybe Shymalan movie, let's us all cross our fingers in the mean time.

I went to some sort of expo in Bukit Jalil recently, and below is the prove.

I've tried my hand at being an agent for 2nd hand goods, and I failed miserably. What I'm looking for is just an experience and not at all orientated by monies, which most probably being the absolute reason that I've failed, but alas, I've tried. Maybe I should invite half clad women in the next auction I guess. Here is the heck what I'm talking about for the past minutes.

One of my friend lost her mom on the 28th of July 2010. May she rests in peace. I'm terribly moved but what had happened, her mom struggle and her own calm composure that I'm truly admired. You know I never handle death kindly, I never knew how.

Crap, someone let loose that tomorrow is my birthday. Now my inbox is blinking madly with one well wishes one after another. Cool. I don't really like extra attention (yea right!) but once in a year is considered humble since I usually creep below the radar all year around.

Tomorrow I will be 32, if God allows me to.

Tomorrow I will be 32, married, no kids and still cringe at the sight of fluffy cats and bunny rabbit (my neighbor's cat, named Yellow, knows how affectionate I could be).

Tomorrow I will be 32, still listen to hip hop junk and watch Spongebob heartily.

Tomorrow I will be 32, who still believe unicorn do exist, Harry Potter is not just a story but a real life experience of a boy in a faraway land, and there's a boogie man hiding underneath my bed (and that's why folks, I'm on divan bed each and every nights!)

Tomorrow I will be 32. Life is still complicated.

Terima kasih Mak!!

I wonder if hubby remembers my birthday.. we shall see!

80th

2010-06-10T12:57:00.002+08:00

Iyo iyo! Nanti den upload kan gambo dio neh haa!

Kebel tatau boh mana la heppp!!!

79th

2010-06-10T12:53:00.003+08:00

I went to SPA for an interview yesterday.

If before I was kan cheong like hell, now I am sad.

I really want this job.

I want to put an end to 'Keje Swasta'.

I want to really settle down and start a family of my own.

I want to work whole heartedly and not because of money only. Kira keje ikhlas la..

I want to contribute to our own country instead of foreign country.

Suck suck suck! My life's suck!

78th

2010-06-10T12:39:00.004+08:00

Balik Raub jap sebab.. err.. nak memancing.. ekekekekeke!

Abah dah bosan, dok lempar2 cengkerik dia ikan takmo makan.. muka dia jgn cakap la kan.. kelat semacam.

Pagi sebelum balik KL tu, tgk muka Mr Pat pon mencuka.. pujuk2 dia, ajak bg makan ikan kat sungai kecik tepi surau tu..

Campak2 pelet tu.. banyak laa anak2 ikan saiz berudu ada situ.. pastuh ajak tuko port, kunun2 laa buat projek tangkap dan lepas kan.. amik ko.. dia dapat haruan, ikan daun as always dan kepuasan! Amik gambo siap2 dgn ikan pastu lepaskan.. bila balik, bgtau Abah, tunjuk gambor, leh dia tak percaya tu.. muhahahahahahahaha!

Yang pasti - Abah den tension!

77th

2010-06-10T12:32:00.004+08:00

Cuti Wesak.

Apa lagi balik Kg Linggi la kan?

Mr Pat beria2 nak memancing, dedua tempat, PD ngan Sg Linggi dia redah, bersemangat sungguh beliau.

Friday morning Mr Pat ngamuk bab air surut.. ekekekeke takleh nak wat ape la babe, kita yang lambat kan.. nak sejukkan ati, sama sama berendam mandi laut. Pastu ada laa 3 4 orang awek from Ampang, cikgu neh, dtg PD nak hoo haa hoo haa, derang nak naik Banana Boat tapi tak cukup orang.. ape lagi.. first time nek Banana Boat! Punyalah payah nak naik kan, kaki saya da la tak cukup panjang.. kejam laa abg boat tu.. huh! Tapi, quite an experience.. terasa luas sgt laut tu, terasa dalam, terasa jauh dari pantai, terasa ada buaya! Tapi, takde pon. Tu semer drama la kan?

*ni gambo cilok, masa ni kecut perut den ha!

Saturday morning tu, pi beli bekpes and piknik tepi Pantai Biru.. kutip kupang cam tah ape2 je.. heee.. agak2 hari nak surut da air tu, beralih tempat ke tempat mandi lak. Memula tu lepak kat tempat org memancing.. sangat bosan. Tapi bila dah start mandi laut, dapat lak pelampung sorang satu (me, my inlaws) ape lagi, terkedek2 laa kaki berenang kan. Tak pernah tau pon, boleh berenang sebenarnya.. ekekekeke!

Haishh sape soh update lambat kan? Igt2 lupa dah ape lg aktiviti..

Oh yea! Malam tu pergi Melaka lagi, Umbai la kan mano laei! As usual, makin jatuh cinta dgn Negeri Melaka!

76th

2010-05-18T10:03:00.006+08:00

Bercuti berdua ke Melaka.

Gerak ke Melaka pukul 8 pagi waktu Kuala Lumpur. Dapat piknik kat RNR Seremban sebab RNR yg before Seremban tu tutup, so semua manusia flock to the same RNR la kan? Imagine, jammed packed with all sort of people, we ended up makan2 di celah2 pokok bunga.. bersila.. not just us, lotsa ppl. Some are having their food standing, mencangkung.. dan sangat meluat tgk those yg dah abis makan tp leh lepak buat tak tau. Curse you.

1. Muzium Merah
Sampai2 je dah tak reti ape, bab traffic jam gile siak! So, masuk parking and take a walk. Walkabout.. eheh. And our first spot is Muzium Merah (ape ke nama tah Stadhuyst ke ape) and it was boiling hot in there! Aircond takde! uhuks! Dah rasa cam mandi peluh kat dalam tu. I bumped into Rudy Harris, tried to call Zell but she must be preoccupied with something coz she was not answering. Ingat nak naik beca at this point, but takut mereka mengah sampai termati.. so.. we headed for a Boat Ride!

2. Boat ride
This is in front of the Red Museum, ala ala France canal la.. tapi.. I never been to France.. hahahaha! This boat ride took about 30 to 55 mins per trip, tapi ada waiting period.. each ride is scheduled at 30mins interval. Ada laa schedule dia.. sapa tak pandai tu, silap timing beli, harus laa menunggu selama 40mins. Nothing much la, scenery building jek, bangunan yg dah dimuralkan dgn sejarah Melaka I assume. Ada nampak biawak 2 3 ekor, dok posing2 gak tapi, tatau kenapa saya terpening lalat.. hahahaha cemana nak pi Tioman ni woii??
After the ride, we singgah makan cendol Jam Besar.. sedap! Cendol Pulut Terbaik!
On the way back to the car, we made a detour in one of the bazaar selling memorabili, and we purchased 2 t-shirts. Kang takde kenangan lak.

3. Masjid kaca tepi laut
After that, we were so hungry, dah start scouts for motel/hotel/resort, bab pegi pon impromptu kan. So had a mediocre asam pedas lunch kat Trend Cafe, depan Trend Hotel. Masuk2 jek hotel tu, bau disifectant kuat sangat.. dunno why.. they provided us with a couple of another hotel brochures that we might be interested in. Rates are ridiculously high for a motel. Enough said. We went to this Masjid Selat Melaka afterwards for Dzuhur.. and the view simply breathtakings. The mosque is having 360 degress of sea view.. awesome. I saw a duck tour passing by, which scares the hell out of me. Now only I can laugh about it. Tetiba jek kete tu meluru masuk ke laut, terus bertukar jadi bot. Gila ah.

4. Umbai
We checked in at Seri Costa Hotel, by the look of it, could be a brand new hotel. I love the bathroom! After taking a nap, we were planning to go to Umbai for dinner. We had excellent nosh at gerai no 7! Remember folks, no 7! They had the usually fishy, crabby, prwans and kupang. Heee.. Eat our heart out!

Gambo dia sorang cukup ler.. huhu!

5. Night scene of Malacca
After makan2, jalan2 dekat Jonker Walk, merah2 jek.. scary. Eerie la tempat ni kalau malam. And ada pasar malam near Pahlawan Walk, so berpusing2 mencari jalan balik ke hotel. Nasib laa ada GPS full version fully upgrade kan? Walking GPS lak tu.. LOL!

6. Mandi laut Pantai Kundur
Semalam tu singgah dah kat sini, tapi cecah2 kaki jek la.. memalu kucing kan.

Tapi kalo dah hantu air tu, hmm.. hopeless. Ekekekeke! Memula sorang jek main2 air, selam2, kejar anak ikan buntal, pastuh Mr Pat dah tak tahan nengok, dia pon kecebur sama... heee! Air laut Melaka ni tak jernih sgt kan? Rasa pon leh tahan tak sedap.. bab banyak kali terminom..

7. Restoran Hj Isenin, Semabok
Dah mandi laut, lama tu.. rasa cam 3 jam kut berendam.. tangkap ikan buntal.. main pelampung kelapa.. and dah rasa penat dan lapar! So pergi ke Semabok, and ada satu restoren, Hj Isenin, nampak dari luar simple je. AKAN TETAPI! Asam pedas daging dia... uuuhhhh.. rasa cam ... errmm.. pengalaman cinta pertama! Kalah! Semua asam pedas yg lain kalah! Tak tertanding! Gila sedap! Sedap! Sedap! Pas ni kalo craving asam pedas, dah tau mana nak pergi. Sila masuk ikut exit Ayer Keroh, stret jek, kedai asam pedas tu supposed on the right kalo dari hiway. Kalo dari Melaka, to the left, to the left.

75th

2010-05-18T10:01:00.005+08:00

Cerita balik kampung.. heeee.

1. Org pompuan pi pasar, org lelaki pi mancing
Abah ngan anak menantu dia memang hantu memancing, tah ape ape ikan laa dia bawak balik, ikan tilan ada, keli ada, ikan daun la paling banyak. Euww. Kita tak makan. Ekekekeek!

2. Mandi manda berendam rendaman di Pulau Chekas
Sementara nak tunggu sessi memancing waktu tengahari, pujuk Mr Pat pi Pulau Chekas, memang tak pernah jejak tempat ni. Air dia, fuhhhh, sejuk! Dah la tu jernih! Sawan la kejap kan. First time pi mandi sungai tapi sikit pun tak cuak dgn ular air. Agaknya ramai sgt sini so ular air pon segan.. heee yg ada cuma badak berendam! Hahahahaha!

3. Singgah pasar pagi Temerloh lagi
Sebenornya dah malas singgah bab pasar dia gila luas, tapi cukup laa kan dulu dah tgk ikan jaws versi Sg Pahang, gigi dia jarang gila, tapi tajam. Kalau gigit tu sahih putus jari saya yg tembam ni.

4. Jumpa Fariz.
Sampai dalam kul 11 kat Kuantan, tido la kot, bab petang tu nak gerak balik ke KL. Jumpa la dgn anak Mak Bat si Fariz tu, gila besor mata beliau.

74th

2010-05-06T15:47:00.003+08:00

Terdetik lam ati.. eh.. ada ke orang baca blog aku ni? Hehe!

Kepada yang baca lam ati tu.. diam2 jek la.. kalo nak senyum2 ke.. sila la ye..

Besok plan nak balik kampung.. yeaaahuuuuu!

Pastuh ada orang plan nak memancing.. yeaaahuuuuu!

Terasa cam nak pi mandi sungai.. yeaaahuuuuu!

Lepas balik keje sharp kul 5.30pm harus gerak.. yeaaahuuuuu!

yeaaahuuuuu! yeaaahuuuuu! yeaaahuuuuu!

And then suddenly, reality kicks in..

Ala..

.. nak kemas baju..

.. nak sapu umah..

.. nak basuh kain..

.. nak lipat kain..

.. nak buang sampah..

.. nak kemas beg..

Huh! takleh laa nak yeaaahuuuuu! sket!!!

73rd

2010-05-04T11:10:00.000+08:00

I supposed to finish up chasing those stubborn creditors!

And yet I'm here blogging away..

I went to the hospital yesterday for the monthly dose of checkup and whatnot. I hate this gloomy place. I hate their interns and trainee.

I don't feel like myself today.

Lack of love.

I wish I can refill this by Friday evening.

Uuuhh weeee!

72nd

2010-05-03T19:48:00.002+08:00

..and the past is catching up real fast!

We went to Klebang, like finally!, to get ourselves some cheap and delicious lips smacking kupang. Heh. On our way back, we took a detour to wash our car, rupa dah macam setan dah, berapa lama tak basuh, and now, walahh!

Sorry no pic, camera phone is cranky.

I have found 2 of my very best friend from my younger and naive days.

Both are 2 exceptional guys who left a huge footprint in my heart.

Owhh!

When the past is slowly adapting to the present.. does that mean the end is near?

The end of me?

Cause I can't stop being thankful, and cheerful again.

Cause I have dreamt of you guys, and I thought it was only a dream.

Yet it was my past, catching up with me.

Begging for my attention.

Yikes, I'm going in a loop!

Welcome back Izwar and Asri!

Let us pick up where we left our story back then..

71st

2010-04-29T08:29:00.002+08:00

Dah malas nak kias2.. sapa yang tau, tau lah.. sapa tak tau, takyah laa tanya eh.. buat2 tau dah..

Aku kan.. kalau marah.. memang cam setan.. bukan semua pun cam tu ke?

Yelah, bila dah marah, api dalam hati tu marak je.. padahal api tu besar api lilin jek.. cuma bila sedang marah.. tetiba jek cam besar sangat api tu..

Ada orang penah kata.. dulu.. citer2 zaman Nabi.. pasal sorang orang kaya yang anak dia mati bab kena curah air panas.. dia tak marah.. dia redha kan.. dia solat pun tak tinggal.. abis aku?

Kalaulah takleh marah, ape ke gunanya ada perasaan itu?

Memang marah bila kena aniaya!

Marah bila bab agama disentuh? Eh, kata 1Malaysia, bukan kena toleransi ke? Takde paksaan dalam Islam kan? Kenapa nak marah?

Marah bila budak umur 15 tahun kena tembak? Nak marah kenapa? Polis kan buat keje dia jek.. sape soh lari.. kan?

Marah bila ada pihak ketiga? Kenapa nak marah.. sapa soh ko tak pandai jaga laki.. dah tau perangai laki cam beruk.. sapa soh kawen ngan dia? kan?

Kalau ada masalah, selalu ada penyelesaian.

Kalau marah?

Kalau tengah berdiri, kita duduk..

Kalau tengah duduk, kita baring..

Kalau tengah baring.. kita kena tidur ke?

Itu ke cara yang ada?

Takleh tidur, makanlah pil tidur 5 biji.

Settle.

Tapi tak adil laa kan kita sorang je rasa marah..

Musti mau adil..

Mari kita marah bersama sama..

So in the end kita leh tidur bersama sama..

Bodo ah.

70th

2010-04-28T15:27:00.002+08:00

.. dan makin ramai orang jadi malas nak update blog..

Tidakkah orang2 ni sedar yang dgn cara dia berblog itu, at least memberitahu tanpa rela, keadaan seseorang itu..

Daripada blog dia, kita leh tau, orang ni..

.. tgh lapar/diet/ganti puasa/makan cam ada jin lam perut dia..
.. tgh jalan2/ronda2/huu huu haa haa dgn pasangan memasing..
.. tgh bercinta/berkapel/berskendel/merajuk dgn seseorang..

Dan ada juga, orang yang sedang..

.. susah hati
.. putus cinta
.. picking up the pieces
.. moving on
.. moving away
.. bahagia

Yea, saya jarang call kekawan saya tapi at least saya baca blog..

Dan kekadang rasa rindu tu membuak.. baru saya call..

Tolong update blog masing2 yea. Ini adalah perintah.

uhuks!

Dan saya masih benci mereka yg pasang pagar/mangga/SOLEX di blog mereka.. skian

69th

2010-04-26T11:15:00.001+08:00

Yeah.. favourite position.. muahahahahaha!

.. dan blog ni tersepit di antara Excel, PDF dan Great Plains...

..dengan pertanyaan..

"Perlu ke untuk reunion? "

Kenapa beria-ia sangat nak join reunion la gathering la?

Timkai?

Saya tak berapa berahi nak pergi reunion, mungkin sebab:

1- Ada aral.. banyak dugaan.. lautan api kena redah.. gunung ganang nak kene daki.. so takpelah ek.. korang carry on jek la.. uhuks.. bukan kita tanak kan.. ada aral.. kita dok kat ulu..

(( muehehehehehe! alasan yang biasa!! ))

2- kita tak ramai kawan masa sekolah walaupun kita perasan satu sekolah tu kenal @ ingat kita.

3- kita tak kawan sangat dgn budak yg sama jurusan di kolej, bab banyak sangat politiking.. kita benci la..

4- kita tak ingat nama kawan2 sekelas kita.. ada laa.. yg dok sembang2 lam FB.. yg betul2 rapat.. yg rumahnya, rumahku jua, dan yang dok sekelas lebih dari setahun.. heh

5- kita segan laa bila nanti org yg dah 20 tahun tak jumpa, bilang, eh, samanya ko ni! tak berubah! uwaaa!!! Adakah kita ni gemuk sejak dulu? Bukan baru2 ni jek ke kita tergemuk?? uhuks!

6- Suami kita tahap2 err faizal tahir jek (kalo dia tau sure dia merusuh.. huhu) dan bukannya tahap2 gaban atau brad pitt, memang kita bersyukur tapi kita rimas laa musti ada org terbetik di benak dia, cemana FT leh kawen ngan syanie ni... uhuks

7- Kita takde baby girl or baby boy yg comel utk dibuat perhiasan, perhiasan kita hanyalah taik lalat dan celak mata.. kita sengaja jek taknak pegnen, nanti beranak sakit woooo!

8- kita tak pakai beg coach ke.. blackberry ke.. kita kai benda yg cikai2 jek.. bab kita penjimat orangnya.. erk

9- kita takde pasport so kita takleh nak eksen2 pi England, Australia ataupun Italy. Sabah Serawak pun kita tak lepas lagi tau.. kita ada fear of flying.. eventhough i'm a Dumbo look alike.

10- kita tau tahap comel kita suam suam kuku jek, kita segan gile kalo org puji2 kita comel.. kita pemaluuuu....

Banyak lagi kalo nak disenaraikan.. tapi tu la.. low self esteemed kan? Kita bukan buruk sangka, but, in the end, manusia semua sama!

So, patutkah saya pergi?

Leh tak buat bbq gathering/ reunion ke.. saya rela jadi tukang bakar bbq.. heee..

68th

2010-04-23T15:45:00.002+08:00

Eh you, kita tak stalk awak ok. Kita come across jek dgn nama awak. Pastuh bab kita pandai kita google, tau tau jek dapat nama kompeni ngan no telepon awak. Yea, nombor telepon awak. Pastuh saya call tinggal message tak sangka! Setelah hampir 13 tahun, kita bercakap semula di talian.

Tapi 13 tahun tu lama sangat la awak.

Awak dah lain sangat. Macam langit dengan bumi.

Mungkin awak terkejut kut..

Nasib baik laa paras garam ngan gula lam darah awak tak tinggi kan?

....

...

..

.

Speaking oh which, kepada encik MAN yang dok kat Kuala Lumpur (saya tau dia tak baca tapi saya nak lepas geram!!)

Hallo! Eh, ko ni memang tak reti bahasa ke haa?

Dah orang bilang jangan telepon, JANGAN LER TELEPON!

Ape ke bengap sangat ko ni?

Ko nak aku hidang pulut kuning ngan ayam golek ngan telur rebus ke baru ko nak reti bahasa?

Memang ler aku ni tak cantik mana, gemok lak lagi, bis yang ko mengendeng gak kat aku tu ape ke hal nya?

Dah masa aku bujang pon aku tak hingin nak layan, apesal ko leh kreatif sangat pikir yang aku akan layan ko lepas aku dah tak bujang lagi?

Ape ke masalah ko ni encik MAN?

Peduli laa ko kaya ke anak raya ke anak datok ke.. eh ko leh blah tak?

Blah laa weii!!

....

...

..

.

Sekian.

67th

2010-04-21T11:15:00.002+08:00

No matter what you do, you simply have to put your company first. Screw those clients. Haha! Never ever go around you boss ok? Don't.

I drove to work today. And I just noticed:

1. The apartment management put a road bump like half a metre from the automatic gate pole. Brilliant eh? NOT!

2. I cursed alot while driving if not i will explode and you would be splashed with my green substance and slime. Nak?

3. I talk cock most of the time, does not mean I am heartless. I am definitely not like you, I know how to crack a joke even if there's no one around to listen to me, or you simply don't get it. Heck, I can entertain myself okeh.

4. My feet does not reach the paddle if I move the seat a lil bit to the back.. darn it.. crap! Malaysian car crap? Hmm.

5. My English sucks. I have listened to too many Malay's channel while driving. But our English channel is so like rojak one, no wonder I suck! (I should stop blaming other.. suck!)

6. I never want to sayur people while driving. Despicable. If I have to queue to get to the other side, no matter how long is the queue, I will. I won't go cilok here and there and make other ppl curse me to oblivion. Tchah! Unless the one in front of me is a far worst driver than I am, or when he told me specifically, which I hate. I'm not a road bully.

7. I saw a motorist went into the front bumper of a car (I dunno wats it's called), and he felt, immediately he got up, and he bloody kicked the car. He was making rackets like nobody business and made the junction so damn congested. It was his fault by the way. What a girl to do? I wish for him to die. Boleh? Kesian amoi tu.. kita simpati. Sepatutnya dia langgar jengkaut kan? Basket.

Jahat ke saya ini?

66th

2010-04-20T12:21:00.002+08:00

Some people, they put locks and chains over their blog.

They just want a few selected person to read it.

So they can blog about anything under the skies and never felt wrong doing it.

They can talk more into fat, juicy details without guilt, and they can curse like nobody business and get away with it.

They can also hurt another person feeling, and the other person never knew about it, except sometimes the left eye will twitch irritably all of a sudden.

Or in my kampung word - mengumpat la tu! :p

Hmm.

This is only one of the medium available to pour what is inside your mind. And your heart.

Probably I don't have much on both of that. Haha!

My mind is empty? My heart is empty?

No, I guess that is where I have put my locks at. And chains too. Big fat chains. And some extra unbreakable charm with tricky passcode.

:)

Sweet.

65th

2010-04-14T10:55:00.001+08:00

Pompuan are so tipikel!

Bila tak call, dibilang busy, marah.
Bila dia call, tanya apesal call?, marah.

Bila tak ajak kuar makan sama, dibilang ohh segan la tuh bab saya gemok kan?, merajok!
Bila dah ajak kuar makan sama, dibilang ohh awak saje kan, nak soh saya lg gemok!, merajok!

Bila tak sms, bilang kemutnya! ngan org len leh la sms, ngamok.
Bila dah sms, bilang kemutnya! ngan org len leh je call, ngamok.

Pekejadahnya ni wehh??

Be thankful!!

Be grateful!!

I dun understand myself.. help!

I dunno what I want.

64th

2010-04-09T17:21:00.002+08:00

Today is one of the day where everything goes smooth and quite well in the beginning of the day and suddenly it took a downhill trod, stumbled, try to catch my breath and now I'm suffocating.

I have this feeling in my gut that I can't put my finger on it.

Try as I might, I just can't shake the feeling that something big and bizarre is about to happen.

Bigger than life.

I should love more and care less.
I should love more and care less.
I should love more and care less.
I should love more and care less.

If I care too much, I will get hurt.
If I love too much, I will get hurt.

I'm in a losing battle yet I refuse to surrender.

Never.

63rd

2010-04-06T12:52:00.001+08:00

Tak pernah terbukak hati nak beli CD nyanyian artis Malaysia, except for Malique.

Kenapa eh?

Rasa cam rugi. Except for Malique.

Hehe.

62nd

2010-04-05T14:04:00.000+08:00

I really wanna go to Langkawi.

Mind you, I never go anywhere by air.

I hope this will be the first of many more to come.

p.s. cikenshit.